G.I. Joe: Retaliation Exclusive Premiere Trailer [HD]

The first movie was kind of goofy, but enjoyable. Why am I so amped for this? Is it The Rock? Are my latent wrestling fan tendencies showing? I dunno, but this looks like it is going to open a, to pen a Rockism, can of whoop-ass.

It's a really heavy walker. Right?

My Name is John Daker - BEST VERSION w/ SUBTITLES

How is this the first time I’ve seen this ever? I about peed my pants, which I know gets thrown around too lightly, but I’m serious. You will almost pee your pants.

HT: @Phil_Johnson_

Grad school:

I’ve been working pretty hard in grad school lately and would like to keep posting, so I might end up posting some of my work or just thoughts from grad school.  I know both of you that read this have probably gotten pretty tore up over the lack of content lately.  Just know I’m getting A’s and that’s pretty spectacular.

Apocalypse Please - Live at Wembley Stadium

In light of the recent end of the world, I thought it would be appropriate to play this song.

The Avengers (2012) watch the Official Teaser Trailer | HD

This is going to be amazing or awful. The trailer makes me think the answer is “awesome”.

Merrie Melodies - Daffy Duck the Wizard HD

Machine Gun Preacher

Yup . . . Machine Gun Preacher. I’m probably gonna watch the crap out of this.

This Really Clears Things Up:

Can we all agree that B + G = The most heinous of sins?

Mutemath worship album:

Don’t mind if I do!

You can pick the whole thing up here. Apparently it was a fundraiser for post-Katrina New Orleans.

There’s more online!  I’m really digging this.

Wait for it . . . Wait for it:

HT @edgarwright

formspring.me

Let's talk about faith and the things on your mind. http://formspring.me/Chriswest1980

"Such A Time" Flynn Adam

This reminds me of TV on the Radio’s first CD a little. Which is always a good thing.

Adventures In The Big Apple:

New York.  The city that never sleeps, right?  Or, is that Vegas?  Nope, it’s New York (thanks google!).

They Might Be Giants have this great song that kind of doubles as a musical buffet of New York’s greatest places.  I spent my day getting to know some of the finer points of a different big apple, the computery kind.  Yup, tech support.  I gotta say, it was the single greatest tech support experience I’ve ever had.  I was probably with the guy 30 - 45 minutes total and we talked about our works and the weather.  I restrung my guitar and discussed the finer points of Macs.  For instance the time displacement effect when they say a  download will take 35 minutes and it only takes five so that when it says a minute is left and it takes three minutes you have no real grasp of the time and that three minutes feels like 10 when it’s supposed to be just one.

Got all that?  Either way, they helped me figure out a long standing frustration with my Software Updates.  I couldn’t get them to work is the short version.  He walked me through it and now I’m bopping along swimmingly.  All except for the fact I completely took my computer back to zero the night before hoping it would help, which it didn’t.

So, I’ve been spending the day getting things back from my Time Machine backups.  See, you thought I was going to tell you I had lost everything, didn’t you?  Well, you would have been right, at least partially.

You see when I set the Macbook back up I did it with a different user than we had originally so when I brought in the old user and stuff from my time machine backup it locked me out of folders that I had no permission to get into (because I didn’t exist when the backups where being made).  I was a new user so of course I didn’t have permissions.  That’s when it dawned on me, “I don’t think it brought over any of my music, movies and pictures.”  Which immediately sent my heart pounding and my head into panic/terror mode.

I pulled up iphoto, no pictures, it had brought in the app but not the content.  I silently shouted in my head, “Where are my pictures...”, and then I thought about how I was going to have to tell The Wife I have deleted every picture we had taken as a couple.  I almost cried.

Then I thought, I did bring over my other user info, and it might have the content since it has permission to access it.  So, I logged out and rememberized my way to the other account and darted full speed to the dock at the bottom.  Deftly, I clicked on iPhoto and waited as the app, for the first time, loaded the pictures it had.  The white screen that mockingly read, “loading photos” seemed to sit there forever.  I closed my eyes and sent up a quiet, quick, and ultimately selfish prayer that the pictures would be there.  When I opened my eyes the screen was still blank and my heart sunk low.

I don’t think I’ve felt like such a fool.  I had destroyed years of memories because I was careless.  I almost cried, but before I could a picture popped up.  It was one of my youth with the chik-fil-a cow.  I was suddenly filled with hope and darted to the pictures to see if everything was still there.  It looked good and I raced to my wedding pictures, “please still be there” I thought.  They were, and then I cried a little.

I had never looked as longingly at those pictures as I did just then.  The thought of losing them was unbearable.  So, maybe the moral is to never get yourself in a situation you don’t fully understand how to fix.  Or, maybe it’s to not take for granted the special things in your life because once their gone you don’t always get them back.  Needless to say, I’m going to back the pictures up special for my peace of mind, and I’m going to kiss my wife and make sure she knows I love her.

I love those pictures, but I can always make more.  I would hate to take another picture without my wife.  And, that’s what I’m taking out of this.

Jesus, Keep Me Near The Cross:

I’ve really fallen in love with the old Hymn named above.  It was originally written by a lady named Fanny Crosby.  Which shows just how much times have changed in that you could name a child Fanny and they wouldn’t be teased into catatonia before second grade.  It was a kinder and gentler time.

She also apparently wrote every hymn, ever.  No, seriously she wrote some 8,000 odd hymns in her life.  And, it’s cool if you try to count them all and seem to come up short, she used a bunch of pen names to keep the man from holding her down.  Oh, did I mention that she did all this while being blind from birth?  Yeah, that’s making me depressed, I’ve hung blinds up in my house and that took two years.

But, her song resonates with me and I want to include it in my Orphan Songs project.  I’ve been fiddling with it and feel like I’ve found what I was looking for.  Hopefully, I can do it justice, particularly this one verse that makes me tear up when I sing it now.

Near the cross, a trembling soul,

love and mercy found me;

there the bright and morning star

sheds its beams around me.  

To imagine what my spirit was like the moment I fell before the cross.  Lost and broken.  Orphaned by sin and separated from God.  And then at my weakest and most desperate Christ came for me, love and mercy found me and it adopted me into it’s family.  Those words really hit me right now.

So, I’m going to post a video of the song.  It’s not how I’m going to go about the song.  Because . . . it’s terrible.



PS.  I’ve spent the better part of the last two days coming to terms with the fact that I’ll never get close to making a song as Otis Redding’s cover of "Try A Little Tenderness” and I’ll never even touch Otis’ voice.  I might even include that video after the jump.

Songs For Orphans:

Let me tell you about my idea to help support the Ashir Orphanage in India.  I’ve recorded two songs that are at least not terrible and I’m hoping to write about four more.  When I get about six decent songs the thought is to put on a benefit show with some of my friends who have bands and to sell the songs I’ve written.

Why am I telling you this?  Because I will stall out if I don’t keep talking about it.  And, I don’t want to stall out when 80 kids are counting on my support.  I’ll try to give periodic updates on this project.

If you’re interested here is a video my youth group made to raise awareness.

I Have A Theory:

The following video will help me to elucidate my belief that Asian’s have a super power. I grew up in a neighborhood with an asian family across the street. Those kids were some of my best friends ever. They were stunning athletes and really good dancers. I have never met an asian person who wasn’t a good dancer. I believe this is because deep down inside all Asian people have an inner ninja.

Because it has become socially unacceptable to lurk in the dark and assassinate people the inner ninja has been forced to take it’s incredible body control and turn it towards something else . . . dancing and athletics.

Watch below as you see two children’s inner ninjas take over.

The internet to this point in one video:

So, I just spent a solid week building amazing stories that I plan on telling, but I’m super tired and just feel like catching up on what’s been going on online between naps. This was on the Vitamin Z blog.

New Youth Group Game:

Radical:

Currently, I am reading David Platt’s book by the same name as this blogpost.  I’ve enjoyed the book in that perverse way that people enjoy really hard workouts.  It sucks and you feel absolutely destroyed but the end result is that you are a little bit healthier.  The book has been a heavy workout for my soul.  Particularly chapter 6 . . . which I finished just recently.

I want to share with you a section that hit me and has continued to resonate in my head.

A wealthier man in our faith family came to my office after we had been studying the story of the rich young man.  He sat down, looked at me, and said point-blank, “I think you’re crazy for saying some of the things you are saying.”  Then he paused, and I wasn’t sure what direction this conversation was going to go.  He continued, “But I think you’re right.  And so now I think I’m crazy for thinking the things I’m thinking.”

For the next few minutes, he described how he was selling his large house and had decided to give away many of his other possessions.  He talked about the needs he wanted to invest his resources in for the glory of Chrsit.  The he looked at me through tears in his eyes and said, “I wonder at some points if I’m being irresponsible or unwise.  But then I realize there is never going to come a day when I stand before God and he looks and me and says, ‘I wish you would have kept more for yourself.’  I’m confident that God will take care of me.”

 I think everyone should read this book.  You can buy it here.

The Mando:

I've been in North Carolina for the last couple days (which you'd know if you followed me on foursquare) and have spent a good chunk of it playing around with my sister in law's mandolin.  I don't think she can play the mandolin, but I do think it's mandatory for any self respecting hippy to have one.  Maybe I'm wrong.

Either way, this thing is super fun.  I have picked up a few chords and learned a couple of the catchy Mando licks.  Oh, I'm sorry, there I go using the secret language of the mandolin playing world.  That's right, in our tight knit circle of mandolin virtuosos we shorten the name.  It's just something we do.

Sometimes I like to play my mando while riding in a lambo.

I've got the little lead lick from Maggie Mae and some of Losing My Religion.  It's been fun playing all those old gospel tunes.  I'm about to dip into Hayseed Dixie's catalog and see if I can't learn some mando AC/DC.

Super fun.  Everyone should get a mandolin.




Basically, Marty Stuart is my new hero.

Jon Secada - Do You Believe In Us

This is my guilty pleasure. I'm a sucker for voices that convey soul. Even if they are wrapped in ridiculously poppy music from the 90's. But, what glorious ridiculous pop it is! I mean this comes from a kinder gentler time. I don't think people had even begun to wear their pants lower yet.

Did you catch that? I'm talking about the 90's like they were the 50's. My rose colored contacts are starting to go in. Either way, sometimes late at night I wish we had played some of this stuff at my wedding reception.

I know that we belong
Do you believe in us
Just give it half a chance

Yes our love
Will still be strong
Girl I believe in us
I'll give you all I can

Wow. And, if you were wondering homeboy knows the value of a good gospel choir. I feel like it gets worked into every song he does and I'm not complaining. It all comes back to this being the ultimate guilty pleasure music. Enjoy. The poet. The man. The . . . dry? (that's apparently what Secada means in spanish.)

And, if you ever doubt that this guy has the good live. One time I was watching the opening ceremony for some sporting event and he was on. As me and my too young to know it was uncool to like Jon Secada friends were watching him he fell through the floor of the stage he was on and never missed a beat. It was amazing.

KFC Commercial

Oh Peter Serafinowics, you did it again. Place on plate. Enjoy.

Michael Jackson A Capella Cover - P.Y.T (Pretty Young Thing) - Mike Tomp...

I put up this guys cover of Katy Perry's "Firework". I love that I can forget about the visual aspect of the thing. Check this out. It's ridiculous.

Dead Hoodoo Blues Men:

That's what I read about during my vacation.  I knew I had a serious car ride with my family coming up and I decided the best thing I could do to make the trip enjoyable for all would be to lose myself in a book. My brother-in-law offered me up a book of his called Bone Music by Alan Rodgers.  "It's about all of the old blues musicians being magical and stuff." is what he said.

The book jumps around in time and place.  The story bounces between a couple different characters, some the old blues men, living in different parts of the United States.  Heaven and Hell are even locals in the book, mostly Hell.  While I don't agree with the theology of the book, some of the insights about spirituality were poignant.  I wanted to recommend the book.  Lot's of fun name dropping throughout the book.

Also, when the bottom drops out at the end of the book you'll wish that this could be made into a movie.  But, alas, I doubt that it could be pulled off.

One caveat, it's not a Christian story and it's populated by people making sinful choices.  The language is occasionally vulgar.  Although when a character does act like a Christian it's not looked down on, it's definitely described as a virtue.

Bone Music, check it out.  It saved me and my family from a long painful car ride.  Although, if you're looking for something more obviously edifying I've been reading Radical by David Platt and it has been wrecking me.  So, both are good, but Radical will blow your mind in all the right ways.

Cute Penguin Story:

I have a pretty good feeling that the title of this post will push it's status straight to mega-"It's Friday" status.  And, then people will read it.  But, I've got pictures!  Also, there is actually a cute story about penguins being cute.  So . . . read on.

Have you been to the Ripley's Aquarium in Pigeon Forge, TN?  It's pretty cool.  I say this having a bit of aquarium pride because of the Atlanta Aquarium.  I don't want it to feel like I'm cheating.  But, I do feel like the penguins are given a little more room to achieve their full adorableness.

If this was a story about beluga whales or gigantic whale sharks, then hands down this would be Atlanta's fight.  But, it's not, it's an adorable penguin story.  So, let's all put on our finest tuxedo and eat some sardine's.  It's time to embrace the adorable.

Let's start with a picture.

You got any fish?

That little guy hung-out around me for about 10 minutes.  He may have been aggressive and gotten his fish early, or just realized that I'm pretty good company and wanted to spend some time with me.  Either way, while all those little dudes in the background where making fools of them begging for fish, homeboy just chilled with me.  Which sets the stage for the real story, this is all about those penguins in the background.  This is the story of one in particular, the most adorable penguin of all.

He is the one with the black back and white front.

There they were, a huddled black mass of fish hungry sea birds.  A faceless mass writhing and grunting at the women with the orange overalls.  One of those women, the one on the left in the above picture, has a bucket full of sardines.  She gives them one at a time to the penguins and calls out their name to the woman on the left.  How do they know their names?  They each have a name band, boys on the right fin, girls on the left and color coded to boot.  The woman on the left then gives a tick next to the penguins name to gauge how well they are eating.  That's the feeding process and it goes really well until one of the penguins is done eating, and needs to get his adorable on.

One of these penguins is about to steal your heart.

So there I was, big hoss standing in front of me wowing the crowd around me when I noticed a penguin climb up and stand next to one of the women.  I thought, "That's cute, I wonder if anyone else noticed that."  It seemed as if no one really did.  All I heard were people cooing over the cute penguins eating and coming up to the glass.  Not, me though, I couldn't take my eyes off the penguin next to the lady.  I wasn't even sure if she had noticed him yet.

It must have been five minutes of the penguin just chilling out beside the lady.  I was getting to wonder if this was all that was going to happen.  Maybe this penguin wasn't being cute but mounting a perch with which to watch over the sad supplicating horde.  This penguin was a mad overlord!  This penguin looked down on all the other penguin, silently judging them.  I began to look away and focus on my buddy who was hanging out by the window.

And then this happened...

All my watching paid off!  Now everyone around me had moved their attention to the adorable penguin sitting in a lady's lap.  Maybe it was still a power thing, but what a cute power thing.  That penguin sat in a ladies lap!  She still had to do her job of ticking off fish dinners with one of natures most precious creatures.  So, did he just hang out and let her do her job or did he ramp up the cuteness to levels near catastrophic?

IT LAID DOWN IN HER LAP!

Penguins don't cuddle, do they?  I mean, I got a minor nose bleed when I was hit with the wave of adorable.  That has to be the cutest thing ever, anything else and there is no way the woman could do her job.

She quit working.

I'm glad that she doesn't read this blog because this is the single most unflattering picture she's ever taken I'd imagine.  But, that penguin is nuzzling her.  I repeat . . . there is a penguin gently nuzzling the chin of the woman who takes care of him.  I'm writing the screen play right now.  He didn't stop there, he continued to steal her pin and move her hand onto his head.  It was the cute-a-geddon.  

I leave you with two videos of unrelenting preciousity (blogger says that's a new word).  Both are a nice mishmash of Lappy and Fronty.  So, enjoy and be watching for some more from my summer trip.

What My Youth Did During VBS:

They made this video. They came up with all the scenes. They picked the music. They even thought of the dominoes. I'm really proud of them.

I did edit the footage. So, if you don't like the pacing or something that's on me. But, the content is all my kids. I'm super proud of them. Check it out!

Hot Chip - I Feel Better (Official Music Video)

I've watched this about a dozen times and still am not 100% sure I get it. But, it's so weird and fun. Also it's directed by the amply talented Peter Serafinowicz who none of you will recognize from his role as Fa'ad on the criminally cut short "Running Wilde". Seriously, he was hilarious on that show. I would really recommend following him on twitter, @serafinowicz.

Check out the video. I've never heard of the band. It is a catchy song though.

Three Years:

I just wanted to get down some thoughts on the fact that I've been married for three years today.  Mainly I want to address the rumor that we've hit the three year "everything sucks" period.  From what I hear the honeymoon ends once you are married for three years.  I have no idea what any one of those people are talking about.  Garbage in, garbage out is a pretty solid philosophy when it come to most things and I'm applying it to my marriage.

We keep working and getting stronger.  I'm not perfect, but I'm growing.  There are a lot of haters who have told us marriage becomes a chore eventually.  But, I'm sticking to garbage in, garbage out.  These last three years have been solid gold.  So...haters....

Stop This Crazy Thing:

It has been a month so far.  I've been away from home more than I've been home and while I've loved every moment of every day I've been away, it's catching up.  I went to Mississippi for a week and then to my sister-in-law's house.  I slept in my bed one night and then left for vacation in the Smokey Mountains got back from that and went to a lock-in until Saturday morning when I then drove to my sister-in-law's again to pick up my sorely missed dog, Matilda.  It was at this point that I fell asleep, at my sister-in-law's, for nine hours.  From eight AM until five PM I slept, long and hard.  Last night I finally made it home to sleep in my bed again.  It was lovely.

I was still exhausted this morning, and I have a week of Vacation Bible School coming up.  So, I'll be leading the music for about 100 kids today.  Hopefully the numbers will be good and I'll not pass out.  Immediately following VBS I will be going back to Mississippi with my family for our first family vacation since I became married.  I'm hoping that we can all get along, because I need a rest right now and am hoping a large part of our vacation is napping.  And we round out the last of the month with a tubing trip to Helen, GA with the youth group.

Luckily, July is significantly less hectic.  I only have one weekend trip with the students and one week long service project.  Of course, there are little one of pool parties and bible studies that I'll participate in, but I'm looking forward to June drawing to a close.  It's been a long one.

Vacation Day One:

Holy smokes, have you been to Dollywood?  I went with my family like 20 years ago.  It was a log flume and a general store.  That place has done come up.  (That's the Tennessee local flavor.)  They have, straight up some of the best rides I've ridden ever.  Maybe I'm exaggerating because of sun stroke or maybe it's because there were no lines at any of the rides.

Probably the lines thing.   There were boat loads of people there.  I have no idea what they did because they certainly weren't riding anything.  I felt like a kid again and wanting to run right around to ride again.  But, I didn't because I'm here with an awesome couple and got to switch out and watch their adorable daughters while someone else rode.

That was the pattern all day. Two ride, two watch and then you swap.  If the kids were miserable, it would have been awful.  But, they rule.

So a long day of scorching heat and Dolly Patron music ended with us eating at Logan's roadhouse.  So good.  Then a dip in the hot tub.  My body is even more useless than normal now.  So, tomorrow we chill. 

For those of you keeping me in your prayers as I try to kick my addiction to soda.  Today was trying.  Coke was everywhere and I wanted one bad.  Like defcon 4 (it only goes to 5, right?)  My mouth was dry and parched and I was imagining the sting of an ice cold coke washing it away.  But, I found the strength to resist.  I did have to fight of a face ripping-off frenzy as I nearly devolved into a angry silverback gorilla.

Seven days in and no major mood swings.  But, be forewarned, I may not always be able to control my inner gorilla.  I think being super active has kept my mind off of it.

One more note.  Dollywood should be cheaper.  It's like $57 dollars a person.  If there had been crazy lines the tone of this post would have been much more fussy.  Perhaps some people would have lost their faces today as well.  Thankfully, no lies and a really good time though.  I guess if I have to pay a little extra for unimpeded joy it's worth it.

Man vs. Nature:

Today I returned home from Children's Camp and then a quick trip to the Sister-in-law's house to visit with my dog.  That trip lasted an extra day because I didn't want to leave my dog after a day.  But, now I'm home.  You may have noticed this recent running around has broken my consecutive days blogging streak and I've come to terms with it.  I'd also like to thank the either of the people who read my blog that noticed I had a consecutive days blogged streak going.

I'll be leaving again Sunday for actual vacation with my oldest friend, but by no means my most aged.  The wife and I will be traveling to Gatlinburg, TN to hang out with He, His wife and their two beautiful daughters.  We'll be staying in a place with a view like this:

That's a crap ton of trees.

That image is taken from the back porch of the cabin we'll be staying in.  Did I mention that this cabin also has a hot tub (to help you cool off during those 100 degree days), a pool, a putt-putt course, and four fishing ponds.  So, this is going to be a pretty sweet week spent with people I love in a place that is pretty cool.

But, Chris, what about a picture taken from the front porch?  Oh, I have one of those, it was taken tonight.   

I can't caption this because I can't think of anything to say that isn't an expletive.  If you know me, then you know I'm no rugged outdoorsman.  I have no doubt in my mind that raccoon has rabies and is going to crawl into my bed in the middle of the night.  I have no doubt that it is going to lay it's devil raccoon eggs in my stomach and then in nine months little awful raccoons are going to burrow from beneath my skin.  I have no doubt that I may have confused some of how raccoons make babies out of pure terror.

Pray for me.  I might have to kick a raccoon.

June Fast:

This month I will be letting go of my addiction to soda.  I'm not cutting out all caffeine or sugar, just soda.  Why am I doing this?  Glad you asked.  I decided that I have some bad habits and I am genuinely addicted to soda.  So, I'm taking this month and kicking the habit, pray for me.

Then every month I'm going to fast from something else that I've decided is not helping me out.  When I get the tickle for a Coke I'm going to pray, so I'll need stuff to pray for.  I've got enough going on right now to keep me busy, but let me pray for you.  I'll give some updates on how things are going during the fast.  So far . . . so good.

Camp pastor/puppeteer

This guy has been awesome all week.  I can't recommend him enough for your children's ministry. 

He is genuinely funny and really connects.

I don't have very good reception so I haven't watched this except to see if it's the right Dennis lee.  It could be a lame representation of him.  Check out some of his performance videos.

Watch "Dennis Lee Productions" on YouTube

You Can't Get Shanked In A Whale:

I love to play would you rather.  I love it even more with elementary school students.  Here's an maple of what our car ride to Mississippi was like.

Me:  ok, who's got one?
Girl:  would you rather live in jail for 20 years or be eaten by a whale and live in it for 10 years?

I think about it while kids shout out their preferences.  I finally decide on jail because I think it would be miserable all alone in a whale stomach.

Me: jail!
Boy: what? 
Me: yeah, I don't think I could handle living in a whale.
Boy:  but...you can't get shanked in a whale!

Immediately everyone changed their mind and decided on whale.  I didn't have the heart to explain there are much worse things than being stabbed in jail.  So for the rest of the trip every would you rather was basically decided on whether or not you could get shanked.

When we almost were done traveling a tiny little girl voice asked gently from the back.  "what's shanking?"  I love kids.

Science Proves God Exists Circa 1940:

Cruella De'ville Impersonation Champ
Daytona Beach '57

Over at io9 they have an article about a dude named Kurt Godel who was a mad scientist.  He came up with the science to prove that God exists.  I love this kind of stuff and feel like even though it's hanging out there and the thought process seems to work, people can still shoot it full of holes.  There's no amount of knowledge that can make you believe something supernatural.  It all comes down to God.  But, check this out!

Gödel based his argument on an early argument of St. Anselm's. St. Anselm defined God as the greatest being in the universe. No greater being could be imagined. However, if God did not exist, then a greater being had to be possible to imagine - one which exists. Since it wasn't possible, by definition, to imagine a greater being than the greatest being imaginable, God had to exist.

Still hanging in there? Check this out.

God can either necessarily exist, or necessarily not exist. If God is an all-powerful being, and he exists, he necessarily exists in all possible worlds. If he doesn't exist, he necessarily doesn't exist in any possible worlds. It is not possible to say that God does not exist in any possible world. No matter how slim the chance is, God might exist. That means that God can't necessarily not exist. Since the choices are either God necessarily does exist, or necessarily doesn't, and we have eliminated the possibility that he necessarily doesn't, the only possibility left is that he necessarily does.

So...there you go.  Science.  Make sure you read the rest of the article.

Just a dude hangin' out with Einstein. 

Do The Innocent Settle?

Because...Bishop Eddie Long just did. Rumor on Twitter is that it's to the tune of 15 million dollars. That's a lot of tithes and love offerings. Even if the rumored sum is just that, a rumor, he still settled. CNN had this to say.

Art Franklin, a Long spokesman, said Thursday that the pastor settled because it “is the most reasonable road for everyone to travel.”

“This decision was made to bring closure to this matter and to allow us to move forward with the plans God has for this ministry,” Franklin said in a statement.

The most reasonable road? If I was being called a sexual predator who coaxed teenaged boys into having lewd sexual contact and I didn't do it. My most reasonable road would be exposing the fact that I didn't do any of it. But . . . that's just me. 

At what point does the congregation need to say, sorry Bishop, we're out.  You broke the contract of trust that we had with you.  Wish you luck, but you will not be our pastor anymore.  Did he have to be found guilty in a court?

At the end of the article there is this weird line that I thought was kind of classic.

One Atlanta pastor predicted that Long said will survive the scandal because his core audience will forgive him.

“Black folks have very short memories,” said Rev. Tim McDonald, senior pastor of First Iconium Baptist Church in Atlanta. “We are the most forgiving people on the planet.

 Why will Bishop Long be able to continue pastoring . . . because black folks have very short memories. I think that is one of the lamest things I've ever heard.  While I myself am not a black person I can attest to the fact that "Black folks" are not the most forgiving people on the planet.  That's bull.

Al Gore Dancing at Inaugural Ball, January 1993

Thank you @serafinowicz for this gem. I want to link this up with the chorus of the Willow Smith Classic, Whip My Hair. Pure magic...how did he lose?

Ah! Bright Wings:

I've mentioned a couple times my love of Gerard Manley Hopkins' poem The Wreck of The Deutschland.  But, did you know that he wrote other poems that didn't involve the death of nuns?  It's true.  To prove it I'll share with you another favorite of mine called God's Grandeur.  He's using Sprung Rhythm here, which means you'll need to read it a couple times probably (no complaints here) to get the vibe.  But, that could just be me that needs to do that.  Enjoy.

The world is charged with the grandeur of God.

It will flame out, like shining from shook foil;

It gathers to a greatness, like the ooze of oil

Crushed. Why do men then now not reck his rod?

Generations have trod, have trod, have trod;

And all is seared with trade; bleared, smeared with toil;

And wears man's smudge and shares man's smell: the soil

Is bare now, nor can foot feel, being shod.

And for all this, nature is never spent;

There lives the dearest freshness deep down things;

And though the last lights off the black West went

Oh, morning, at the brown brink eastward, springs--

Because the Holy Ghost over the bent

World broods with warm breast and with ah! bright wings.

Disney Medley (UMass Amherst Doo Wop Shop A Cappella group)

Last one, I promise! I didn't have anything like this happening at any school I went to. I'm laying it down now, where ever I go for Grad School will have an singing group that is both talented and ironically humorous.

My Little Pony Physics Presentation

Ok...I am on a roll with funny videos from the world of Academia. This is hilarious. What school has such fun, smart kids?

Greatest Valedictorian Speech Ever!

I give huge props to this kid for having the guts to do something like this.

Lactivists:

Terrorist or Freedom Fighter?

There is a law that has gotten three days worth of news coverage here in Georgia.  Is it immigration reform?  No.  Some kind of spending reform?  Nope.  Is it a law restricting mothers from breastfeeding in public if their child is over two years old?  Oh, yes, yes it is.

Yup, that's what a Lactivist is.  Someone fighting the good fight of lactation.  And here's what those freedom fighters did today,

Nearly 200 breastfeeding women and supporters took part in a nurse-in Monday morning in Forest Park. The so-called "lactivists" are upset over a new law in the Clayton County community limiting public breastfeeding.

My one question is this.  Do most women breastfeed after two?  A three year old is usually on to food you can chew, right?  I mean, you hear about people that breastfed until they were like 17 or something, but do most women keep it up past three?

Read the article and give me your opinion.  Here!

P.S. Googling "breastfeeding" for an image you can use, even with the filter set to strict will give you a picture of a boob.  Apparently, google doesn't think it's a crime...

I Can't Quit You Harold Camping:

My buddy over at Call To Die has live blogged the open forum that Family Radio did.  It's insane and insanely revealing of who Harold Camping is and what he's all about.  Go check it out here.

Macho Man/Rapture Final Post:

Being a student of Wrestling and Jesus, I'm betting He's about to turn around and powerslam him.

Open Letter To Harold Camping:

This rolled through Twitter and I thought it was really well done.  It elaborates on my earlier post and is a loving plea to the people who are probably suffering after they weren't taken into heaven.  Remember that it's a letter for Camping and his followers.  Here's a piece that I particularly liked.

Tonight the Rapture Parties will go on.  The atheists will gloat, the mockers will mock.  Yet there’s nothing funny about this for you.  You are broken and crestfallen, left abandoned in the ruins of unfulfilled expectations, among them the very highest expectations a human can have — the hope of union with God, the hope of a world made new, the hope that every tear will be wiped away.  You are left disoriented.  You were so sure of this.  People you love and respect — perhaps your parents, your pastor, your mentor, your brother and sister — may have believed it too.  You do not feel relieved that the end of the world did not arrive.  You are not rid of this world yet, so all of its weight fell back upon your shoulders.

Read the rest of the letter here.

Trivializing The Rapture:

I do not want to come across as not having a sense of humor.  In fact I've been giving Harold Camping and his goofy Rapture prophecy considerable crap since I found out about it.  I repeat, it's not happening and he's messed up a lot of people's lives.  Here's the ultimate problem though with him and any other false prophet, when the prophecy fails it trivializes the God the prophet follows.  And, I don't doubt that Camping loves God.

But, if I'm making fun of him then you know that the rest of the world is ripping him even harder and they aren't stopping at Camping.  The ridicule flows from him to God and diminishes the worth of everything that has to do with God.

All that to be said, here are some very creative pictures of Rapture Bombing.  Again, I have a sense of humor and can laugh at these, but I also see that deep down these expose a fearless generation when it come to God.  So, check them out.  Here.

OOOOOH, SAAAAAAD:

You may already know this about me, but as I graduated high school my goal was to join up with the WCW Powerhouse training ground for professional wrestlers.  Why did I want to do this?  Because every fabric of my being wanted to dive off the top rope and devastate someone with an elbow.  I had seen triple back flips and inverted corkscrew splashes, but there was just something about that elbow.  I mean, that was the debate when I was a kid "Leg Drop vs. Elbow Drop" (you know what I'm talking about if you watched wrestling).

I vote Elbow Drop.

Today the master of the top rope elbow drop passed away.  He was an amazing showman and really set the bar for tasteless clothing.  To see him was to know everything you needed to know, gigantic and flamboyant with a hint of legit crazy in his eyes.  His romance with Miss Elizabeth was the first soap opera I ever watched.  I wanted to be the "Macho Man" Randy Savage.  Who wouldn't?  Do yourself a favor and go look up the Macho Man vs. Ricky "The Dragon" Steamboat at Wrestlemania 3.

The rumor is that he suffered a heart attack while driving and that led to a collision with a tree.  He died later at the hospital.  Thankfully reports are saying that it had nothing to do with alcohol or drugs (and let's admit it...he was cocaine on legs back in the day) and his wife survived the accident.

Whether you grew up like I did dreaming of dropping that big elbow, started snapping into a Slim Jim with him, or got introduced to him as Bone Saw in the first Spiderman movie the world lost an amazing performer today.  Go spend some time on youtube listening to him talk crazy in his interviews and see if you don't fall in love with the man who was "Macho Man" Randy Savage.

Rest in peace, Randy Poffo.

He made it look good.

PS.  He also put out a rap album, which is just as ridiculous as you think it is.  After the jump.

So That's What Those Mean:

Sometimes the internet breaks.  That's when you get a weird little number that means absolutely nothing to you (unless you are a nerd).  Well, worry no more because my friend @kmasson has gone and found a infographic of what each and every one of those weird things means.  Now you can charge confidently into that great abyss of the internet with knowledge, but a total inability to do anything with it.  Hey, it's better than nothing right?  Check out the graphic here and then go look at the other 14 or so right ... about ... here!  Then you can start following Kari who is a fantastic writer which you can read here as well as follow her tweets.

And now you know...

New Aaron Keyes:

I got this tweet a couple hours ago and it filled me with so much excitement I just had to retweet it.  After a few hours I decided that a simple retweet isn't enough to convey my excitement.  Here's what got tweeted.

New Website is up! You can pre-order the new album and instantly download songs too. Also giving away loops for Dwell! www.aaronkeyes.com

Ok, first, if you don't follow @aaronkeyes then you are missing out.  His music is a blessing to me and his tweets are pretty good to.

I heard Mr. Keyes at our first Student Life Camp.  What jumped out was that he isn't just another guy playing music, but that he took the title of worship PASTOR very seriously.  Everything was intentional, he made song choices that I would have never because they wouldn't have been "cool" to me.  But, I learned a lot about the value of content over musical cool.

So, hop over to aaronkeyes.com and preorder your new favorite CD.

Slo-Mo Makes Everything Better:

Giant water balloon exploding in slo-mo.  Watch this and exercise your inner child.

Chuck E. Cheese Was My Childhood:

I'm getting older.  My memory is going I think.  I'm just 30, but I'm pretty sure I have memory failure.  My guess is that it's from a decade of caffeine, cheap pizza, and seizure causing strength flashing lights.  Yeah, where a kid can be a kid.  (And a parent can go broke.)

I think my memory is going because I can't remember how many days ago I started wanting to find a piece of my childhood.  I know it was after the Amazon App Store handed me a free Skee-ball game but, I don't think it was as recent as last night.  Somewhere in the last two weeks I started jonesing for some skee-ball.

This kid has no respect for the game.

I remember my mom would tout her skee-ball skills to me whenever we went.  She won most the tickets in our family.  She's not just blowing smoke, my mom is pretty awesome at skee-ball.  I still have grocery bags full of tickets that we were saving up for me and my sister to purchase some stupid thing that would have cost $15 across the street at the mall.

Having skee-ball fever eventually turned one night into a genuine hunt for a skee-ball game that I could purchase and place in my basement so that I could master the game and go pro.  (There is pro skee-ball, right?)

The roar of the crowd!  The skee of the ball!

Google quickly informed me that I would not be purchasing a skee-ball game and just that quickly my dreams of being on a Wheaties box were dashed.  I think the cheapest I could find was one for almost $2,000 American Dollars.  If you wanted to get a big six-banger whole-wall-covering behemoth it would run around $5,000.  But, what's weird is after I searched for that the internet began sending me a sign that maybe it's not time to give up on my dream.

My first bit of evidence came from a youtube video that was on the front page of Youtube Trends (which I love).  It's short so just watch it here.

How could that be anything other than a sign?  Except that looks like it would be almost no fun at all.  But, it gives out tickets!  I haven't bid on it yet and neither has anyone else, but there are still four days left on the auction.  Alas, even a miniature Skee-ball game will end up running me from $500 to $1500.  It seems that the price point just won't get within my part-time salary range.

And then, as if by beacon from on high, this news story jumped out at me. 

"Chuck E. Cheese Sued For Promoting Gambling With Kids"

Mr. Cheese is working hard for my attention now.  Ultimately, the article asked is summed up in this question.

Still, the suit does raise an interesting question: Does a child's desire to win a plastic pterodactyl by playing Wack-A-Mole really send the little nipper down the slippery slope to gambling addiction that ends with them betting their mortgage payment on red at the local Native American casino?

While I can personally tell you I haven't ever gambled it all away in a casino, I can't say that I haven't wanted to gamble.  Who knows if my slight urge to gamble comes from all those days spent rolling wooden balls up the board to the point giving cups?  Either way, the article is worth a full read, here.

Maybe my dreams of Skee-ball dominance are dead or maybe they're just starting, it's hard to tell.  But, if  I suddenly go on a gambling bender you'll know who to blame, Mr. Cheese.

Oh, and all that talk earlier about memory loss, maybe it's not so bad because writing this reminded me of one of my oldest memories.  When I was maybe four years old my mom would take me to Showbiz Pizza (which may have noticed is not Chuck E. Cheese) and they were pretty much set up exactly the same as Mr. Cheese's but with one notable difference.  Off in it's own room was this animatronic dog dressed up like Elvis who would sing if you pushed a button on the wall.  I remember that my mom held me up so I could press the button to make him start moving and singing, then she held me up while I pressed it for another half hour.  I was completely amazed by that thing.

My tiny, eighty pound, mom held me up so I could press a button and hear a song over and over for half an hour.  I'm glad I remembered that.  My mom is pretty cool.  I did not expect to have a revelation about my mom at the start of this, but I'm going to go let her know I appreciate her.  Maybe you should do the same.

People Watching In A Target Parking Lot:

I don't like going shopping.  I love being with my wife which makes it tough when she wants to go shopping.  Yesterday I was met with that conundrum.  I decided I'd go with her and we'd take the dog because she spends most of Sunday in her crate (cue the animal cruelty protests).  Matilda, Me and the wife all hop in the car and head to Target.  When we got there Jennie asked me if I wanted to go in or stay in the car with Matilda.

She married me knowing that I have the attention span of a coked up squirrel.  So, when she has to take a minute and a half to pick out what toothpaste she wants I will just wander off to the video game section or start causing a scene.  So, when she asked me if I wanted to stay in the car, I don't think it was entirely benevolent on her part.  I think she imagined having to shop while babysitting me.

So, it was a win-win for everyone.  I stayed in the car with Matilda and Jennie got frustration free shopping done.  What happened while we were sitting in the car was actually kind of interesting.

He looked nothing like this.

First a Latino family came by speaking spanish and I could tell that this confused Matilda.  Being the good Dogfather that I am, I explained that they were speaking a language that we don't use around the house.  I told her that if she was interested I could start teaching her phrases like, "Where is the bathroom?", "Who is the pretty new girl?" and "There is a cat in my pants."  When I felt like she didn't have anymore questions I checked the Amazon App Store to see what was free for the day.  It was a game where you shoot and blow up waves of settlers in the wild west.  That killed about 10 minutes.

More like this.

Then a car pulled up in front of us.  Which is why I usually wouldn't sit in the car, it's creepy to see a dude sitting in the car alone.  So I just tried to avoid making eye contact....until I noticed the kid WEARING A SPIDERMAN COSTUME get out of the car!

I thought, what a cool dad.  They bopped into Target and I went back to murdering well-meaning settlers.  Matilda barked at a small blonde mother, she and I avoided eye contact.  I told Matilda thank you for protecting me from that woman and her daughter.  As they pulled out, I was just about to begin the next round of slaughter, and who comes out but Spiderdad and Spiderson.

Spiderdad was carrying a good sized water gun and Spiderson seemed quite pleased.  What's weird is, the dad looked at his son and said, "That was a blessing wasn't it?"  Nothing in response  from the 8 year old while he gets to his side of the car.   "Wasn't it a blessing, buddy?"  Again, nothing from his kid.  "What a blessing that you got this big water gun."  He impressed on his son the weight of the grace afforded to them in receiving a great big water gun for cheap.

My lesson for that day was, I'm not going to need to spiritualize every conversation with my kid.  Sometimes a cheap water gun is just a cheap water gun and you did your job of showing God's love to your kid by walking around in public with him dressed like Spiderman.  He'll remember that Spiderdad, he's already forgotten that the water gun was a blessing.


Presence...not presents.

Double Standards:

Is it bad that I assumed terrorists would hold themselves to higher standards in accordance with their religious beliefs?  Apparently, Osama had a stash of "contemporary electronic porn".  Here's a quick snippet of the article that I thought was interesting.

Three other U.S. officials familiar with evidence gathered during investigations of other Islamic militants said the discovery of pornography is not uncommon in such cases.

Read the full story here.

Shallow Small Groups:

This has been making the rounds. It makes me laugh, particularly the trampoline. "Who doesn't want to be super?"

Nu Thang:

This is one of the best examples of Christian rap from it's start until now.

This young man grew up to be Toby Mac. (in my imagination)

This could have been filmed on TBN yesterday.

I imagine this conversation occurred just before they started filming.  "Quick, we need to decorate the stage!  Does anyone have seven balloons?"

"Hit me!"

I can go find someone, right now, that would think everything about this is cool.(HT:RWJ)

I Grew Up Listening To You:

I have to imagine a beautiful twenty year old standing on a stage telling you that they have loved your music since infancy would be an ego boosting reminder of your career and the impact you've had on an entire generation.  But, what if it was just a constant reminder that you're getting older?  I thought about it last night while I caught up on the new (and really fun) show, The Voice. (Hulu)

Christina Aguilera was told time and time again, "I grew up listening to your music."  I work with teens and it can really take a toll on me at times because you get a very warped view of your own age.  At Twenty-Five I was old.  Now, I'm ancient.  Xtina is almost the exact same age as me, so she must be feeling it a little.  The constant pressing on of time.  Our inability to halt the constant creep of aging and ultimately aging out of the culture that she helped create.

Lucky for her, God blessed her with good skin and an amazing voice so she's still got some play as a culture maker.  But, it's still got to sting a little when you see your potential replacement on stage.  It's got to hurt a little more when they remind you with the best of intentions that you used to matter more than you do now.

Here's a funny chart that will make you feel old as well.

Summer Blockbusters:

Over at io9 they hosted a slew of truthful posters for up-coming summer blockbusters.  Most of them are really good.  Mind you this is not a Christian website and some of them have profanity and one of them drops the F-bomb.  Here are my two favorites, head over and view the rest at this link.

Transformers 3

X-Men: First Class

War Makes A Man Do Crazy Things:

It's been a while since I put up a video and the blog's been kind of serious lately.  So, the internet brought me this.  The missiles are what really get me.  Is this a sign that soldiers are keeping their sense of humor or that they've cracked?  I'm gonna guess sense of humor, but if the pressure of war has forced them to dance then so be it.

The Damage:

If you haven't traveled through North Georgia to see the destruction or lived among it, the scope will be difficult to truly grasp.  I have gone out twice now to help with relief efforts, cutting trees, hauling brush, whatever is needed of me on site.  I'm still shocked that no one died around me, giant chunks of earth are completely upturned.  Giant hundred year old trees with giant hundred year old root systems falling and crushing houses, cars, but again no lives.

Today, I saw the worst I've personally seen.  I cleared a lot of brush and we cut up a whole lot of trees.  Honestly, after 7 hours of hard work from almost 20 guys we only got it to go from looking like a disaster to looking like a mess.  But, still the homeowner was appreciative.  It's still weeks of work.  But, he was appreciative.

I didn't want to go this morning.  I wanted to sleep in.  I'm glad I went.

Here is a link to some pictures of the area I went to today.  Make sure you look through the whole gallery at the bottom.

Art Expresses Meaning:

Over at Tim Challies site he posted an article about the architecture of churches (full story here).  I'm a big fan of cool architecture.  Undoubtedly, architecture can be art and that it can carry meaning.  That's why some buildings tend to skew similarly.  I took a class on set-design in college and learned that colors and shapes carry meaning, what those meanings are and how to manipulate those meanings.  Just like a set in a play you can share the meaning of a scene, some deeper truth about characters, or simply create an emotional response.  And, it can all be done with shapes and colors.

Architecture, like other art forms, expresses meaning. Do you know why older churches built steeples? Why they had bells? What does it mean that today’s churches tend to use cheap materials? Why are they being made to look “more like a mall”? What does it mean when the sanctuary has a stage with studio lights, big speakers, and a drum set? What do these design features tell us about contemporary Christianity?

Does this tell the same story...

Here's a clip from the parent article that USA Today posted.

Likens says, "everyone in town knows this is the church with the bell tower." 

"But everyone also knows the Episcopal church and congregations as a whole aren't growing," he says. "In fact, they are sliding and they are aging like St. Mark's. That adds to our decision dilemma: Where do you want to put your money as a congregation? Are we better off doing outreach programs? You want to keep your history, but you want to have a future, too."Why are churches being made to look "more like a mall"? Where do you put your money as a congregation?

as this?

Those two questions seem most pertinent. What's the story we're trying to tell with our architecture? But, ultimately, the building doesn't preach the Gospel. While it may help create a sense of awe, respect, or grandeur it's The CHURCH that really matters. So, for some people keeping a crumbling piece of architecture well tells the story when the community is falling apart around it. Read the whole article. Tell me what you think.

I Had A Great Idea:

It was going to be called RandoMazon, and it was going to display at random an item from the online mega-store Amazon.  I googled my new word and it looks like a twitter feed has already been set-up and there is a website that is pretty much doing the exact same thing with the exact same name.  But, before I had the wind taken out of my sails I started to imagine the myriad of strange and wonderful treasures that could pop up.  Things like Uranium and Doe Urine.  I'd link to them, but it feels gross and illegal.

Then for some weird reason I thought, can you buy a coffin on Amazon?  I know they are expensive, maybe you can find them on sale and help yourself out?  Perhaps keep it in the attic till you really need it. (a unique place to hide Christmas presents)

So, I went to Amazon, the hunt was on!  I typed in coffin, the search bar recognized it and finished my word for me. Things were looking up!  The first entries were fake coffins, you know, for kids and stuff.  Then there was a do-it-yourself coffin making book, which people seem to really hate.  Lot's of jewelry boxes.  Some really lame looking sunglasses and a graphic novel (which I might like to read).

But, there it was, nestled between the jewelry boxes and the lame sunglasses, an honest to goodness coffin.  The kind that mom used to make.  Made of the finest 20 gauge steel you can find.  In awe I looked around on the page.  What were people buying that bought this coffin?  What were customers looking for while they tried to find a bargain coffin?

They were buying Mighty Mendit and Windshield Wonder of course.  You shouldn't be shocked to find out that anyone who would take finding their own coffin online seriously would also be kind of a hands-on person.  They also purchased wireless keyboards.  I want to make a joke, but nothing is coming out.  Why keyboards?  Why?  My personal favorite though, Rotating Hot Iron Hair Straighteners, because you're thinking about laying in a coffin and everyone will be judging your hair, right?

By the way, that coffin is $900.  Which is low compared to the other coffins people were looking for. And, that's exactly what people were looking for even if they did end up buying something completely non-sequitir.  The next cheapest coffin they shopped for is $1300....I can't afford to die.

Unless....I decide to go green.  This beauty is only five hundred and eighty-nine American dollars.  But, just like with Ikea, you have to assemble this at home.  Yup, it's a kit.  Why not just buy the book on how to make coffins and skip this middle-man, er, middle-mortician.

All this to say, as I was looking around I saw that people had written reviews and I was not expecting them to be funny.  While they aren't knee-slapping funny, there are some real chuckle worthy moments.  I'll post a couple after the jump, but you have to go read the rest.