What if I told you there was something called “The Tiddy Bear”? What if I told you it wasn’t what you thought. The worst part is, someone bought these. I know we had a Mr. Microphone growing up.
Tuesday, March 20, 2012
Monday, March 12, 2012
Live Blogging The Bachelor Finale:
Live coverage of the bachelor finale....now! Courtney ate that cat after the cut away.
Wife: “He makes a prettier girl.” Regarding the Bachelor sister.
Phallic symbols give bachelor hope in his marriage choice?
The universe is pulling out all the stops to let Bachelor know that Courtney is trying to eat him after the wedding.
Bachelor should have stopped at “I don’t think...” Re:Courtney
Courtney just laid her eggs in Bachelor. Couldn’t chance waiting any longer.
Courtney does not understand how to act like a human.
Courtney is considering what it would feel like to wear Bachelor sister’s skin.
I bet the last host for “Courtney” was a nice person. shame...
That’s blood in her cup. #Courtneyisanalien
First impression of courtney = Bachelor sister was mind controlled.
They need to do a #Bachelor for older people. Like, 75-80, what would it be called?
HAHA! They could call it survivor. #oldpeoplebachelor
Plot twist, Bachelor’s dad killed attempting to hold back the invasion force of Courtney’s people.
Hmmm. Titanic 3D commercial. Foreshadowing? #Bachelor
Matterhorn shot #7 so far.
aaaand matterhorn shot #8.
#9....
OK, done counting, there are only so many things to video in the swiss alps apparently.
Lindzi has a bump on her chin, could be a zit. Engagement canceled.
I do appreciate that this Bachelor has made thick eyebrows sexy again. Represent!
Are they the only people on the mountain? That would be awesome.
Hmmm. Meowmix commercial. Foreshadowing? #Bachelor
Does Bachelor have a popped collar? Run, Lindzi, run!
Lindzi: “It only gets better.” Bachelor: “Ahh oh..yeah...” Courtney wins.
Lindzi’s dimple almost makes a complete hole in her cheek.
I feel like Lindzi could beat him up, but Courtney will eat his head on the honeymoon. Choices.
Oh, in case you weren’t sure, they are near the matterhorn.
Lindzi looks like an australian.
Lindzi is endearing me with her humanity. Courtney is doing the opposite.
Magic Ingredient in Bachelor relationship = millions of dollars worth of vacations. Or, “love”.
That weird oven he just build. What is that?
I like that after a season of making Courtney despicable they have to show her like a normal person.
The last girl who made a journal went right home.
When courtney says children she doesn’t mention that they will have to burst from Bachelor’s chest.
Has anyone considered that this season of the bachelor was a feeding program for Courtney’s alien race?
That’s what it looks like when Courtney cries. Like someone who’s body can’t cry, because that function no longer works.
I really think Bachelor’s decision comes down to this, who did you enjoy riding in helicopters more with?
There are 6 guys with high powered rifles pointed at that box full of diamonds. No doubt about it.
2nd & 3rd helicopter ride of the episode. So many helicopters on this show. More than MASH!
Oh, they put the Matterhorn in the background. I had forgotten about the Matterhorn.
Asking a woman to get out of a helicopter in 4 inch heels seems cruel.
Bachelor was legit like, “I will call you if this doesn’t work out."
Now we know that the Bachelor ends with him giving unwilling birth to courtney’s spider babies.
hmmmm. 5 year engagement commercial. Foreshadowing?
*Spoiler* Ben gets engaged to the Matterhorn.
Ladies: Lesson to be learned from the Bachelor. If you are trying to win a guys attention. Get naked with them in the ocean.
That is an enormous diamond. Holy crap.
Well folks, thus ends the live tweeting of the Bachelor finale. We should wake in the morning to a world ruled by Courtney’s species.
Monday, March 5, 2012
How To Remove The Pain From Preparing A Weekly Sermon
I am stealing every word of this (except for theses) from the website of the group hosting a really cool online seminar with some really great speakers. It genuinely has me pretty excited. I know it’s all tied to getting me to use some service, but whatevs, this is still pretty slick. Without further ado...stolen content.
After talking to hundreds of preachers, we’ve found most preachers love preaching, but the grind of preparation can often become a pain. Here are three things we’ve seen.
1. Great preaching comes from a great preparation system. Perry Noble doesn’t prepare in a vacuum. He has a team at NewSpring Church that helps him prepare. Perry will talk about how this works at the PreachBetterSermons.com FREE online event on March 15th.
2. A Preparation day is better than feeling like you have to prepare all the time. Andy Stanley sets aside every Wednesday to prepare messages, and his team helps him keep this time guarded. While Andy is gifted, his commitment to preparation helps make his messages memorable. Andy will talk about the structure of his preparation day on the Preach Better Sermons online event.
3. Developing a sermon planning system takes the pain out of preparation. There are things you can do on a daily, weekly, monthly, quarterly and annual basis that will dramatically improve your preparation time and help you deliver better messages. Helping you put something like this into place will be a part of the free online event.
Make a commitment to be a better preacher. Sign up for the free online conference. Here are the details.
- Date: March 15, 2012
- Time: 1pm – 4pm EST
- Speakers: Andy Stanley, Perry Noble, Louie Giglio, Dr. Charles Stanley, Vanable Moody, Jeff Foxworthy. The event is being hosted by Jeff Henderson.
- Registration: Free sign up at preachbettersermons.com
Sunday, March 4, 2012
In Honor of My Most Recent Self Destruction:
I used to work at a music store. It was like, 2006. A guy who worked there would not shut up about Lit. I said, “Are they still together?” After fussing at me for like ten minutes, he literally had to leave work he was so upset with me.
PS.. They bleep the “S Word” in this.
PS.. They bleep the “S Word” in this.
Thursday, March 1, 2012
Trike Drifting
When I was in college me and the rest of the BSU decided to go on a retreat to this little cabin type situation near a lake. I’m pretty sure it was in Georgia. Either way, it was on a hill. The paved road spiraled slowly around the hill. The people in charge of the property had kids.
One of the lazy days of hanging out at this retreat lead me to get bored and I grabbed one of the kids little tricycle things. No one was watching me. I launched down the hill. After almost dying I ran back up the hill with, what was now, the greatest invention of all time. As I explained what had just happened no one said, “that seems dangerous.” Friend after friend launched themselves down the death spiral, some losing it in turns and flying over the edge only to roll into a tree. I had to jump a guy that got too wide in a turn. It was the thing that would have made us internet stars.
Eventually, we found a second toy and raced each other. Then I raced my friend Nick, this was only the second time I had rode including the inaugural launch. Somehow the dozens of times people went down the hill no one found the giant rough patch of concrete, but I did. As my front tire dug in and I lost all control, my body flipped head over heels. The considerable speed allowed me to pass completely over the concrete landing in a muddy patch. I thought I was going to die, the whole flip.
Of course, we built ramps.
I saw this video and every one of those memories came back just as vivid as the day we made them. It is a wonderful thing to survive stupid choices. A blessing to survive them with friends.
I want.
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