I think this is why I'm a jerk:

I was over at TYVZ and I came across this post.  I didn't really read it because I saw the word over there on the left.  The author used it to describe himself.  I don't know if he's a jerk like me or not, but take the jump to find out why I think this word finally sums up why I'm such a profound jerk.


If you're buying, then I'm going to be selling.  If you're excited, then I'm going to bring up the other side.  If you're having a bad day, I'll remind you to be chipper.  If you like something, I'll find something wrong with it.  If it's supposed to be amazing, I'll avoid it like the plague. 

Long story short, I think I'm smarter than you.  Whoever you are, I probably think I'm smarter than you.  Even if I think you're smarter than me at this moment, I'm pretty sure that at some point I'll get the one up on you in the brains department.  I think I know more than you and that is easy to think because I probably don't think you know much at all.  This is my mindset and it is obnoxious.

I'd be stupid to say this is my cross to bear.  This is actually one of MANY crosses to bear.  I'm actually more like a burden viewing station than a person.  Come by sometime and check out my personality faults.  You know, the ones I use humor to cover up.

I'm contrarian and I miss out on a lot of things because of that.  I've missed out on so much of the joy and good that comes with knowing Christ.  If you're experiencing the love of Christ, I'm probably reminding you that you need to study and suffer.  That's just what I do.  I'm a jerk.

My new mantra is working on this.  "I Can't".  Restructuring my thoughts to involve others has become a necessary and vital part of my life and ministry.  Because I'm better and smarter than you, I can't trust you to do anything, right?  So, I'm having to change that thought process and it's Christ working in me to do it.  I want people in my life and I want to share and work with them.  

God is in fact using my wife to do this.  I have to trust her, even though I think I could do it better.  I thank God for him humbling me with through my wife.  I can't be a contrarian with her and expect to have a happy home life or fulfill my role as husband and head of the family.  

This is all a little tongue and cheek, maybe it's even a little inflated, but it's still a fact.  My sinfulness drives me to think that I'm the best thing around.  That is my struggle.  I'm prideful.  Don't be like me, don't be a contrarian.  Be like Christ.