I thought I'd sneak one last post in this Halloween and take a look at something that is terrifying the modern populace. EMO. Where did it come from? Where is it taking us?
I for one believe they should be rounded up and used as code talkers in the war on terror. This would use their natural penchant for poetry in a positive way, also, if anyone breaks the code they will immediately spiral down into an unending pit of black self loathing. Here's a video that hits the issue head on.
These men have British accents, and as such, I trust them completely. Take the jump for incontrovertible evidence on the EMO menace.
Wednesday, October 31, 2007
Thursday, October 25, 2007
Thank you 90210. A Halloween tale. . .of terror.
For the last week and a half my humble little blog has seen a remarkable jump in viewership. A normal day is between 3 and 5 unique visitors to the "AS", that's the cool new way of referencing "Absolutely Spoo". Check with the cool kids on the street, they'll know, they'll probably even let you into their gang if you say it. So while I was getting used to, and more than content with, about 4 hits a day, suddenly my Blogworld was sent into upheaval as the hits skyrocketed to 12 or 15 a day. . .the horror. Needless to say, I spent the next few days carefully combing my data to see where the trend started. I then broke out my "Nostradamus For Dummies" and a black mirror, so that I might get a glimpse into the horrifying end of the world that this jump in viewing had caused.
To hear the end of this spooooky story just take the leap. Take it!
Friday, September 21, 2007.
The day seems so far off now. Like a wisp of hot breath being torn to shreds by the cold winter bite. I had no idea that when I wrote about my trip to the thrift store that it would spark the end of all matter and humanity. I couldn't have known, it was just. . .a thrift store, or so I thought.
It's all so clear now. If you're reading this it may already be too late. I know, now better than ever, why I felt such a strong calling from that ping pong table. I hadn't found it, it had found me. I was suckered in by it's low price and alluring green boxes and white lines. I was such a fool. I didn't even stop to ask myself why someone would want to get rid of such a fine miniature tennis court.
I swept it up and put it in the back of my cherry Trans Am, that's what I call my dad's truck, the cherry Trans Am. Everyone was so happy to see that bedeviled table leave their small Christian store. I was all to eager to bring the burden on myself.
Two days it set, no, it waited on the back of my cherry Trans Am. Waiting for the moment that it could be unleashed upon the world. I protected it from the wind, rain and all assortment of elements. Perhaps, snow and/or light sleet, though that is highly unlikely, no matter though, I protected the wicked monstrosity. Allowed it time to hatch a vile scheme.
As if by hidden signal I new it was time to make the trip to church. Partially because it was Wednesday and I am always at church on Wednesday, but I would have been there no matter what on this ominous day, the table would make sure of that. I traveled to the cherry Trans Am and made sure the tarp was secure. The tarp, I now understand, was our last and final hope to contain the horror. Or course I quickly removed it upon arriving at the church.
Three young men, I heard them called "Youth" by the inhabitants of the church, came to give me a hand in taking my new treasure indoors. They came to take the table. . .inside. I don't know if I can ever be forgiven for bringing those boys into this. I must tell my story anyways.
It was about this time that I wrote the post and linked to a picture. This Picture!
Oh, the humanity! The flood of Belgian viewers to my blog began only moments after! Not just Belgians, no, Australians, Canadians, Norwegians, even the unbathed wretches of North Carolina found their way to my site. How despicable this constant surge of readers. How wicked the desire to view that picture. I was feeding the universal desire to dress up like a 90210 character and I didn't even know it! The table had played it's hand. It new when to hold'em and it knew when to fold'em. I dare say it knew when to walk away and the blasted atrocity knew when to run.
I was ensnared, my deep. . .deeeeep hubris wouldn't allow me to take down a post that was garnering me this much attention. Even if it meant saving the world from a clone army of Brendas and Dylans washing up on the shore of every coast this October 31st, I just couldn't do it.
All I can do is this. . .write to warn you. If you see a Scandinavian wearing acid wash, run. If you see a Lithuanian in a vest with embroidered flowers or something on it, fear for your life and make haste. Friends, if you stumble upon young Belgian men with teased hair and a rebel without a clue attitude, don't let your guard down, no matter how badly you want to go to the Peach Pit with him. No good can come from this. None.
I know where the table is, I know where it is plotting, planning, waiting. I just don't know how or when. We must all be vigilant, and perhaps we should attend the Euharlee Baptist Reformation Party on October 31st from 6 till 8. The table is at my church still, so we could watch it, and try to keep each other safe, or is it already too late? Only time will tell. . .do you hear the opening credits in your head? Bada da da da dun, da da da da dun chung chung chung. Wheedledee wheedledee wheeeeee! It sounds alot like that, maybe I was of in the third bar, you know, with the wheedledee's. Either way, beware the creeping terror that is, 90210 fever!
To hear the end of this spooooky story just take the leap. Take it!
Friday, September 21, 2007.
The day seems so far off now. Like a wisp of hot breath being torn to shreds by the cold winter bite. I had no idea that when I wrote about my trip to the thrift store that it would spark the end of all matter and humanity. I couldn't have known, it was just. . .a thrift store, or so I thought.
It's all so clear now. If you're reading this it may already be too late. I know, now better than ever, why I felt such a strong calling from that ping pong table. I hadn't found it, it had found me. I was suckered in by it's low price and alluring green boxes and white lines. I was such a fool. I didn't even stop to ask myself why someone would want to get rid of such a fine miniature tennis court.
I swept it up and put it in the back of my cherry Trans Am, that's what I call my dad's truck, the cherry Trans Am. Everyone was so happy to see that bedeviled table leave their small Christian store. I was all to eager to bring the burden on myself.
Two days it set, no, it waited on the back of my cherry Trans Am. Waiting for the moment that it could be unleashed upon the world. I protected it from the wind, rain and all assortment of elements. Perhaps, snow and/or light sleet, though that is highly unlikely, no matter though, I protected the wicked monstrosity. Allowed it time to hatch a vile scheme.
As if by hidden signal I new it was time to make the trip to church. Partially because it was Wednesday and I am always at church on Wednesday, but I would have been there no matter what on this ominous day, the table would make sure of that. I traveled to the cherry Trans Am and made sure the tarp was secure. The tarp, I now understand, was our last and final hope to contain the horror. Or course I quickly removed it upon arriving at the church.
Three young men, I heard them called "Youth" by the inhabitants of the church, came to give me a hand in taking my new treasure indoors. They came to take the table. . .inside. I don't know if I can ever be forgiven for bringing those boys into this. I must tell my story anyways.
It was about this time that I wrote the post and linked to a picture. This Picture!
Oh, the humanity! The flood of Belgian viewers to my blog began only moments after! Not just Belgians, no, Australians, Canadians, Norwegians, even the unbathed wretches of North Carolina found their way to my site. How despicable this constant surge of readers. How wicked the desire to view that picture. I was feeding the universal desire to dress up like a 90210 character and I didn't even know it! The table had played it's hand. It new when to hold'em and it knew when to fold'em. I dare say it knew when to walk away and the blasted atrocity knew when to run.
I was ensnared, my deep. . .deeeeep hubris wouldn't allow me to take down a post that was garnering me this much attention. Even if it meant saving the world from a clone army of Brendas and Dylans washing up on the shore of every coast this October 31st, I just couldn't do it.
All I can do is this. . .write to warn you. If you see a Scandinavian wearing acid wash, run. If you see a Lithuanian in a vest with embroidered flowers or something on it, fear for your life and make haste. Friends, if you stumble upon young Belgian men with teased hair and a rebel without a clue attitude, don't let your guard down, no matter how badly you want to go to the Peach Pit with him. No good can come from this. None.
I know where the table is, I know where it is plotting, planning, waiting. I just don't know how or when. We must all be vigilant, and perhaps we should attend the Euharlee Baptist Reformation Party on October 31st from 6 till 8. The table is at my church still, so we could watch it, and try to keep each other safe, or is it already too late? Only time will tell. . .do you hear the opening credits in your head? Bada da da da dun, da da da da dun chung chung chung. Wheedledee wheedledee wheeeeee! It sounds alot like that, maybe I was of in the third bar, you know, with the wheedledee's. Either way, beware the creeping terror that is, 90210 fever!
Monday, October 22, 2007
Your vote has been decided:
Chuck Norris endorses Mike Huckabee as his presidential candidate! With that bit of news we can all stop arguing about politics and move on. Thankfully with all the time Norris saved, the politicians can get back to arguing with one another off screen. Here's the real question, should Huckabee take Norris on as his vice president? Take the leap to learn a little about our future VP.
Fun Facts: Chuck Norris was slated to play Leonidas in 300, but they were going to have to change the name to 1.
Here is a picture of of Chuck's toilet paper.
What the war on terror should look like. Boom!
When I was around the tender age of 7, I was an extra in the Chuck Norris movie, "Invasion USA". I have a picture of myself sitting on his lap. I barely survived.
Thursday, October 18, 2007
I'm Late, I'm Late!
I'm late for a chance that this post will be even moderately relevant! See back about a month ago, or "many moons ago" in interwebnet thought, there was all this spicy banter going on about the Pyro guys making posters. Well, I got the idea for a poster and never made it. Because I'm lazy and forgetful, I can say it, we can move on, that's why I didn't make it. So, here's my attempt at jumping into a long dead discussion. Take the jump already.
I gotta tell you. I'm really happy with the way that turned out. I'm pretty sure that this whole thing "Jumped the Shark" a long time ago. I don't think this will incite any vitriol, so I feel OK about posting it. If anyone also thinks it's funny feel free to comment, or if you think it's funny that I am actually posting something this dated. . .comment.
Thanks to The Squirrel Queen for the pic.
TA DA!
I gotta tell you. I'm really happy with the way that turned out. I'm pretty sure that this whole thing "Jumped the Shark" a long time ago. I don't think this will incite any vitriol, so I feel OK about posting it. If anyone also thinks it's funny feel free to comment, or if you think it's funny that I am actually posting something this dated. . .comment.
Thanks to The Squirrel Queen for the pic.
Wednesday, October 17, 2007
I'm in a video type mood:
This one made me laugh pretty hard. It's an SNL skit. I really would love to sit down with Bjork for an hour, just to see what it's like. That's all you get. Take the leap.
Sunday, October 14, 2007
Burn Me Up:
I recently purchased the new Shane and Shane album "Pages". Do yourself a favor and buy the CD. It's 3/4 awesome! Unfortunately it does have some wasted tracks, in my opinion. Although you might like the ones I don't. I'll tell you what though, if you can listen to it and not be touched by the passion in their voices, you should get your money back. Also, you should check your pulse.
I'm as awestruck by their singing and songwriting as I was in college. I found a fan made video for the song "Burn us up". I want to let you hear the song, the video is amateur, but at least he did it. The song tells the story of Shadrach, Meshach, and Abednego as they stood in front of Nebuchadnezzar and defiantly told him that they would only worship their God, the one true God.
The beauty of it is that they say that they know their God is able to save them from the fires, but, and here is, I think, the strength of their testimony, they will burn if He chooses not to. To have faith like that. I pray that I would burn and that I will burn. Check the video and song out after the jump.
I'm as awestruck by their singing and songwriting as I was in college. I found a fan made video for the song "Burn us up". I want to let you hear the song, the video is amateur, but at least he did it. The song tells the story of Shadrach, Meshach, and Abednego as they stood in front of Nebuchadnezzar and defiantly told him that they would only worship their God, the one true God.
The beauty of it is that they say that they know their God is able to save them from the fires, but, and here is, I think, the strength of their testimony, they will burn if He chooses not to. To have faith like that. I pray that I would burn and that I will burn. Check the video and song out after the jump.
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