Monday, May 30, 2011

Camp pastor/puppeteer

This guy has been awesome all week.  I can't recommend him enough for your children's ministry. 

He is genuinely funny and really connects.

I don't have very good reception so I haven't watched this except to see if it's the right Dennis lee.  It could be a lame representation of him.  Check out some of his performance videos.

Watch "Dennis Lee Productions" on YouTube

You Can't Get Shanked In A Whale:

I love to play would you rather.  I love it even more with elementary school students.  Here's an maple of what our car ride to Mississippi was like.

Me:  ok, who's got one?
Girl:  would you rather live in jail for 20 years or be eaten by a whale and live in it for 10 years?

I think about it while kids shout out their preferences.  I finally decide on jail because I think it would be miserable all alone in a whale stomach.

Me: jail!
Boy: what? 
Me: yeah, I don't think I could handle living in a whale.
Boy:  but...you can't get shanked in a whale!

Immediately everyone changed their mind and decided on whale.  I didn't have the heart to explain there are much worse things than being stabbed in jail.  So for the rest of the trip every would you rather was basically decided on whether or not you could get shanked.

When we almost were done traveling a tiny little girl voice asked gently from the back.  "what's shanking?"  I love kids.

Friday, May 27, 2011

Science Proves God Exists Circa 1940:

Cruella De'ville Impersonation Champ
Daytona Beach '57
Over at io9 they have an article about a dude named Kurt Godel who was a mad scientist.  He came up with the science to prove that God exists.  I love this kind of stuff and feel like even though it's hanging out there and the thought process seems to work, people can still shoot it full of holes.  There's no amount of knowledge that can make you believe something supernatural.  It all comes down to God.  But, check this out!

Gödel based his argument on an early argument of St. Anselm's. St. Anselm defined God as the greatest being in the universe. No greater being could be imagined. However, if God did not exist, then a greater being had to be possible to imagine - one which exists. Since it wasn't possible, by definition, to imagine a greater being than the greatest being imaginable, God had to exist.


Still hanging in there? Check this out.
God can either necessarily exist, or necessarily not exist. If God is an all-powerful being, and he exists, he necessarily exists in all possible worlds. If he doesn't exist, he necessarily doesn't exist in any possible worlds. It is not possible to say that God does not exist in any possible world. No matter how slim the chance is, God might exist. That means that God can't necessarily not exist. Since the choices are either God necessarily does exist, or necessarily doesn't, and we have eliminated the possibility that he necessarily doesn't, the only possibility left is that he necessarily does.

So...there you go.  Science.  Make sure you read the rest of the article.
Just a dude hangin' out with Einstein. 

Thursday, May 26, 2011

Do The Innocent Settle?

Because...Bishop Eddie Long just did. Rumor on Twitter is that it's to the tune of 15 million dollars. That's a lot of tithes and love offerings. Even if the rumored sum is just that, a rumor, he still settled. CNN had this to say.


Art Franklin, a Long spokesman, said Thursday that the pastor settled because it “is the most reasonable road for everyone to travel.”
“This decision was made to bring closure to this matter and to allow us to move forward with the plans God has for this ministry,” Franklin said in a statement.


The most reasonable road? If I was being called a sexual predator who coaxed teenaged boys into having lewd sexual contact and I didn't do it. My most reasonable road would be exposing the fact that I didn't do any of it. But . . . that's just me. 

At what point does the congregation need to say, sorry Bishop, we're out.  You broke the contract of trust that we had with you.  Wish you luck, but you will not be our pastor anymore.  Did he have to be found guilty in a court?

At the end of the article there is this weird line that I thought was kind of classic.

One Atlanta pastor predicted that Long said will survive the scandal because his core audience will forgive him.
“Black folks have very short memories,” said Rev. Tim McDonald, senior pastor of First Iconium Baptist Church in Atlanta. “We are the most forgiving people on the planet.

 Why will Bishop Long be able to continue pastoring . . . because black folks have very short memories. I think that is one of the lamest things I've ever heard.  While I myself am not a black person I can attest to the fact that "Black folks" are not the most forgiving people on the planet.  That's bull.

Al Gore Dancing at Inaugural Ball, January 1993

Thank you @serafinowicz for this gem. I want to link this up with the chorus of the Willow Smith Classic, Whip My Hair. Pure magic...how did he lose?

Ah! Bright Wings:

I've mentioned a couple times my love of Gerard Manley Hopkins' poem The Wreck of The Deutschland.  But, did you know that he wrote other poems that didn't involve the death of nuns?  It's true.  To prove it I'll share with you another favorite of mine called God's Grandeur.  He's using Sprung Rhythm here, which means you'll need to read it a couple times probably (no complaints here) to get the vibe.  But, that could just be me that needs to do that.  Enjoy.

The world is charged with the grandeur of God.
It will flame out, like shining from shook foil;
It gathers to a greatness, like the ooze of oil
Crushed. Why do men then now not reck his rod?
Generations have trod, have trod, have trod;
And all is seared with trade; bleared, smeared with toil;
And wears man's smudge and shares man's smell: the soil
Is bare now, nor can foot feel, being shod.

And for all this, nature is never spent;
There lives the dearest freshness deep down things;
And though the last lights off the black West went
Oh, morning, at the brown brink eastward, springs--
Because the Holy Ghost over the bent
World broods with warm breast and with ah! bright wings.

Wednesday, May 25, 2011

Disney Medley (UMass Amherst Doo Wop Shop A Cappella group)

Last one, I promise! I didn't have anything like this happening at any school I went to. I'm laying it down now, where ever I go for Grad School will have an singing group that is both talented and ironically humorous.

My Little Pony Physics Presentation

Ok...I am on a roll with funny videos from the world of Academia. This is hilarious. What school has such fun, smart kids?

Greatest Valedictorian Speech Ever!

I give huge props to this kid for having the guts to do something like this.

Tuesday, May 24, 2011

Lactivists:

Terrorist or Freedom Fighter?
There is a law that has gotten three days worth of news coverage here in Georgia.  Is it immigration reform?  No.  Some kind of spending reform?  Nope.  Is it a law restricting mothers from breastfeeding in public if their child is over two years old?  Oh, yes, yes it is.

Yup, that's what a Lactivist is.  Someone fighting the good fight of lactation.  And here's what those freedom fighters did today,

Nearly 200 breastfeeding women and supporters took part in a nurse-in Monday morning in Forest Park. The so-called "lactivists" are upset over a new law in the Clayton County community limiting public breastfeeding.

My one question is this.  Do most women breastfeed after two?  A three year old is usually on to food you can chew, right?  I mean, you hear about people that breastfed until they were like 17 or something, but do most women keep it up past three?

Read the article and give me your opinion.  Here!

P.S. Googling "breastfeeding" for an image you can use, even with the filter set to strict will give you a picture of a boob.  Apparently, google doesn't think it's a crime...

Monday, May 23, 2011

I Can't Quit You Harold Camping:

My buddy over at Call To Die has live blogged the open forum that Family Radio did.  It's insane and insanely revealing of who Harold Camping is and what he's all about.  Go check it out here.

Macho Man/Rapture Final Post:

Being a student of Wrestling and Jesus, I'm betting He's about to turn around and powerslam him.

Saturday, May 21, 2011

Open Letter To Harold Camping:

This rolled through Twitter and I thought it was really well done.  It elaborates on my earlier post and is a loving plea to the people who are probably suffering after they weren't taken into heaven.  Remember that it's a letter for Camping and his followers.  Here's a piece that I particularly liked.

Tonight the Rapture Parties will go on.  The atheists will gloat, the mockers will mock.  Yet there’s nothing funny about this for you.  You are broken and crestfallen, left abandoned in the ruins of unfulfilled expectations, among them the very highest expectations a human can have — the hope of union with God, the hope of a world made new, the hope that every tear will be wiped away.  You are left disoriented.  You were so sure of this.  People you love and respect — perhaps your parents, your pastor, your mentor, your brother and sister — may have believed it too.  You do not feel relieved that the end of the world did not arrive.  You are not rid of this world yet, so all of its weight fell back upon your shoulders.

Read the rest of the letter here.

Trivializing The Rapture:

I do not want to come across as not having a sense of humor.  In fact I've been giving Harold Camping and his goofy Rapture prophecy considerable crap since I found out about it.  I repeat, it's not happening and he's messed up a lot of people's lives.  Here's the ultimate problem though with him and any other false prophet, when the prophecy fails it trivializes the God the prophet follows.  And, I don't doubt that Camping loves God.

But, if I'm making fun of him then you know that the rest of the world is ripping him even harder and they aren't stopping at Camping.  The ridicule flows from him to God and diminishes the worth of everything that has to do with God.

All that to be said, here are some very creative pictures of Rapture Bombing.  Again, I have a sense of humor and can laugh at these, but I also see that deep down these expose a fearless generation when it come to God.  So, check them out.  Here.

Friday, May 20, 2011

OOOOOH, SAAAAAAD:

You may already know this about me, but as I graduated high school my goal was to join up with the WCW Powerhouse training ground for professional wrestlers.  Why did I want to do this?  Because every fabric of my being wanted to dive off the top rope and devastate someone with an elbow.  I had seen triple back flips and inverted corkscrew splashes, but there was just something about that elbow.  I mean, that was the debate when I was a kid "Leg Drop vs. Elbow Drop" (you know what I'm talking about if you watched wrestling).

I vote Elbow Drop.
Today the master of the top rope elbow drop passed away.  He was an amazing showman and really set the bar for tasteless clothing.  To see him was to know everything you needed to know, gigantic and flamboyant with a hint of legit crazy in his eyes.  His romance with Miss Elizabeth was the first soap opera I ever watched.  I wanted to be the "Macho Man" Randy Savage.  Who wouldn't?  Do yourself a favor and go look up the Macho Man vs. Ricky "The Dragon" Steamboat at Wrestlemania 3.

The rumor is that he suffered a heart attack while driving and that led to a collision with a tree.  He died later at the hospital.  Thankfully reports are saying that it had nothing to do with alcohol or drugs (and let's admit it...he was cocaine on legs back in the day) and his wife survived the accident.

Whether you grew up like I did dreaming of dropping that big elbow, started snapping into a Slim Jim with him, or got introduced to him as Bone Saw in the first Spiderman movie the world lost an amazing performer today.  Go spend some time on youtube listening to him talk crazy in his interviews and see if you don't fall in love with the man who was "Macho Man" Randy Savage.

Rest in peace, Randy Poffo.

He made it look good.
PS.  He also put out a rap album, which is just as ridiculous as you think it is.  After the jump.

Thursday, May 19, 2011

So That's What Those Mean:

Sometimes the internet breaks.  That's when you get a weird little number that means absolutely nothing to you (unless you are a nerd).  Well, worry no more because my friend @kmasson has gone and found a infographic of what each and every one of those weird things means.  Now you can charge confidently into that great abyss of the internet with knowledge, but a total inability to do anything with it.  Hey, it's better than nothing right?  Check out the graphic here and then go look at the other 14 or so right ... about ... here!  Then you can start following Kari who is a fantastic writer which you can read here as well as follow her tweets.

And now you know...

New Aaron Keyes:

I got this tweet a couple hours ago and it filled me with so much excitement I just had to retweet it.  After a few hours I decided that a simple retweet isn't enough to convey my excitement.  Here's what got tweeted.

New Website is up! You can pre-order the new album and instantly download songs too. Also giving away loops for Dwell! www.aaronkeyes.com

Ok, first, if you don't follow @aaronkeyes then you are missing out.  His music is a blessing to me and his tweets are pretty good to.

I heard Mr. Keyes at our first Student Life Camp.  What jumped out was that he isn't just another guy playing music, but that he took the title of worship PASTOR very seriously.  Everything was intentional, he made song choices that I would have never because they wouldn't have been "cool" to me.  But, I learned a lot about the value of content over musical cool.

So, hop over to aaronkeyes.com and preorder your new favorite CD.

Wednesday, May 18, 2011

Slo-Mo Makes Everything Better:

Giant water balloon exploding in slo-mo.  Watch this and exercise your inner child.

Tuesday, May 17, 2011

Chuck E. Cheese Was My Childhood:

I'm getting older.  My memory is going I think.  I'm just 30, but I'm pretty sure I have memory failure.  My guess is that it's from a decade of caffeine, cheap pizza, and seizure causing strength flashing lights.  Yeah, where a kid can be a kid.  (And a parent can go broke.)

I think my memory is going because I can't remember how many days ago I started wanting to find a piece of my childhood.  I know it was after the Amazon App Store handed me a free Skee-ball game but, I don't think it was as recent as last night.  Somewhere in the last two weeks I started jonesing for some skee-ball.

This kid has no respect for the game.
I remember my mom would tout her skee-ball skills to me whenever we went.  She won most the tickets in our family.  She's not just blowing smoke, my mom is pretty awesome at skee-ball.  I still have grocery bags full of tickets that we were saving up for me and my sister to purchase some stupid thing that would have cost $15 across the street at the mall.

Having skee-ball fever eventually turned one night into a genuine hunt for a skee-ball game that I could purchase and place in my basement so that I could master the game and go pro.  (There is pro skee-ball, right?)

The roar of the crowd!  The skee of the ball!
Google quickly informed me that I would not be purchasing a skee-ball game and just that quickly my dreams of being on a Wheaties box were dashed.  I think the cheapest I could find was one for almost $2,000 American Dollars.  If you wanted to get a big six-banger whole-wall-covering behemoth it would run around $5,000.  But, what's weird is after I searched for that the internet began sending me a sign that maybe it's not time to give up on my dream.

My first bit of evidence came from a youtube video that was on the front page of Youtube Trends (which I love).  It's short so just watch it here.





How could that be anything other than a sign?  Except that looks like it would be almost no fun at all.  But, it gives out tickets!  I haven't bid on it yet and neither has anyone else, but there are still four days left on the auction.  Alas, even a miniature Skee-ball game will end up running me from $500 to $1500.  It seems that the price point just won't get within my part-time salary range.

And then, as if by beacon from on high, this news story jumped out at me. 

"Chuck E. Cheese Sued For Promoting Gambling With Kids"

Mr. Cheese is working hard for my attention now.  Ultimately, the article asked is summed up in this question.

Still, the suit does raise an interesting question: Does a child's desire to win a plastic pterodactyl by playing Wack-A-Mole really send the little nipper down the slippery slope to gambling addiction that ends with them betting their mortgage payment on red at the local Native American casino?
While I can personally tell you I haven't ever gambled it all away in a casino, I can't say that I haven't wanted to gamble.  Who knows if my slight urge to gamble comes from all those days spent rolling wooden balls up the board to the point giving cups?  Either way, the article is worth a full read, here.

Maybe my dreams of Skee-ball dominance are dead or maybe they're just starting, it's hard to tell.  But, if  I suddenly go on a gambling bender you'll know who to blame, Mr. Cheese.

Oh, and all that talk earlier about memory loss, maybe it's not so bad because writing this reminded me of one of my oldest memories.  When I was maybe four years old my mom would take me to Showbiz Pizza (which may have noticed is not Chuck E. Cheese) and they were pretty much set up exactly the same as Mr. Cheese's but with one notable difference.  Off in it's own room was this animatronic dog dressed up like Elvis who would sing if you pushed a button on the wall.  I remember that my mom held me up so I could press the button to make him start moving and singing, then she held me up while I pressed it for another half hour.  I was completely amazed by that thing.

My tiny, eighty pound, mom held me up so I could press a button and hear a song over and over for half an hour.  I'm glad I remembered that.  My mom is pretty cool.  I did not expect to have a revelation about my mom at the start of this, but I'm going to go let her know I appreciate her.  Maybe you should do the same.

Monday, May 16, 2011

People Watching In A Target Parking Lot:

I don't like going shopping.  I love being with my wife which makes it tough when she wants to go shopping.  Yesterday I was met with that conundrum.  I decided I'd go with her and we'd take the dog because she spends most of Sunday in her crate (cue the animal cruelty protests).  Matilda, Me and the wife all hop in the car and head to Target.  When we got there Jennie asked me if I wanted to go in or stay in the car with Matilda.

She married me knowing that I have the attention span of a coked up squirrel.  So, when she has to take a minute and a half to pick out what toothpaste she wants I will just wander off to the video game section or start causing a scene.  So, when she asked me if I wanted to stay in the car, I don't think it was entirely benevolent on her part.  I think she imagined having to shop while babysitting me.

So, it was a win-win for everyone.  I stayed in the car with Matilda and Jennie got frustration free shopping done.  What happened while we were sitting in the car was actually kind of interesting.

He looked nothing like this.
First a Latino family came by speaking spanish and I could tell that this confused Matilda.  Being the good Dogfather that I am, I explained that they were speaking a language that we don't use around the house.  I told her that if she was interested I could start teaching her phrases like, "Where is the bathroom?", "Who is the pretty new girl?" and "There is a cat in my pants."  When I felt like she didn't have anymore questions I checked the Amazon App Store to see what was free for the day.  It was a game where you shoot and blow up waves of settlers in the wild west.  That killed about 10 minutes.

More like this.
Then a car pulled up in front of us.  Which is why I usually wouldn't sit in the car, it's creepy to see a dude sitting in the car alone.  So I just tried to avoid making eye contact....until I noticed the kid WEARING A SPIDERMAN COSTUME get out of the car!

I thought, what a cool dad.  They bopped into Target and I went back to murdering well-meaning settlers.  Matilda barked at a small blonde mother, she and I avoided eye contact.  I told Matilda thank you for protecting me from that woman and her daughter.  As they pulled out, I was just about to begin the next round of slaughter, and who comes out but Spiderdad and Spiderson.

Spiderdad was carrying a good sized water gun and Spiderson seemed quite pleased.  What's weird is, the dad looked at his son and said, "That was a blessing wasn't it?"  Nothing in response  from the 8 year old while he gets to his side of the car.   "Wasn't it a blessing, buddy?"  Again, nothing from his kid.  "What a blessing that you got this big water gun."  He impressed on his son the weight of the grace afforded to them in receiving a great big water gun for cheap.

My lesson for that day was, I'm not going to need to spiritualize every conversation with my kid.  Sometimes a cheap water gun is just a cheap water gun and you did your job of showing God's love to your kid by walking around in public with him dressed like Spiderman.  He'll remember that Spiderdad, he's already forgotten that the water gun was a blessing.


Presence...not presents.

Friday, May 13, 2011

Double Standards:

Is it bad that I assumed terrorists would hold themselves to higher standards in accordance with their religious beliefs?  Apparently, Osama had a stash of "contemporary electronic porn".  Here's a quick snippet of the article that I thought was interesting.

Three other U.S. officials familiar with evidence gathered during investigations of other Islamic militants said the discovery of pornography is not uncommon in such cases.

Read the full story here.

Thursday, May 12, 2011

Shallow Small Groups:

This has been making the rounds. It makes me laugh, particularly the trampoline. "Who doesn't want to be super?"

Wednesday, May 11, 2011

Nu Thang:

This is one of the best examples of Christian rap from it's start until now.

This young man grew up to be Toby Mac. (in my imagination)

This could have been filmed on TBN yesterday.

I imagine this conversation occurred just before they started filming.  "Quick, we need to decorate the stage!  Does anyone have seven balloons?"

"Hit me!"

I can go find someone, right now, that would think everything about this is cool.(HT:RWJ)

Tuesday, May 10, 2011

I Grew Up Listening To You:

I have to imagine a beautiful twenty year old standing on a stage telling you that they have loved your music since infancy would be an ego boosting reminder of your career and the impact you've had on an entire generation.  But, what if it was just a constant reminder that you're getting older?  I thought about it last night while I caught up on the new (and really fun) show, The Voice. (Hulu)

Christina Aguilera was told time and time again, "I grew up listening to your music."  I work with teens and it can really take a toll on me at times because you get a very warped view of your own age.  At Twenty-Five I was old.  Now, I'm ancient.  Xtina is almost the exact same age as me, so she must be feeling it a little.  The constant pressing on of time.  Our inability to halt the constant creep of aging and ultimately aging out of the culture that she helped create.

Lucky for her, God blessed her with good skin and an amazing voice so she's still got some play as a culture maker.  But, it's still got to sting a little when you see your potential replacement on stage.  It's got to hurt a little more when they remind you with the best of intentions that you used to matter more than you do now.

Here's a funny chart that will make you feel old as well.

Monday, May 9, 2011

Summer Blockbusters:

Over at io9 they hosted a slew of truthful posters for up-coming summer blockbusters.  Most of them are really good.  Mind you this is not a Christian website and some of them have profanity and one of them drops the F-bomb.  Here are my two favorites, head over and view the rest at this link.

Transformers 3

X-Men: First Class

War Makes A Man Do Crazy Things:

It's been a while since I put up a video and the blog's been kind of serious lately.  So, the internet brought me this.  The missiles are what really get me.  Is this a sign that soldiers are keeping their sense of humor or that they've cracked?  I'm gonna guess sense of humor, but if the pressure of war has forced them to dance then so be it.


Saturday, May 7, 2011

The Damage:

If you haven't traveled through North Georgia to see the destruction or lived among it, the scope will be difficult to truly grasp.  I have gone out twice now to help with relief efforts, cutting trees, hauling brush, whatever is needed of me on site.  I'm still shocked that no one died around me, giant chunks of earth are completely upturned.  Giant hundred year old trees with giant hundred year old root systems falling and crushing houses, cars, but again no lives.

Today, I saw the worst I've personally seen.  I cleared a lot of brush and we cut up a whole lot of trees.  Honestly, after 7 hours of hard work from almost 20 guys we only got it to go from looking like a disaster to looking like a mess.  But, still the homeowner was appreciative.  It's still weeks of work.  But, he was appreciative.

I didn't want to go this morning.  I wanted to sleep in.  I'm glad I went.

Here is a link to some pictures of the area I went to today.  Make sure you look through the whole gallery at the bottom.

Friday, May 6, 2011

Art Expresses Meaning:

Over at Tim Challies site he posted an article about the architecture of churches (full story here).  I'm a big fan of cool architecture.  Undoubtedly, architecture can be art and that it can carry meaning.  That's why some buildings tend to skew similarly.  I took a class on set-design in college and learned that colors and shapes carry meaning, what those meanings are and how to manipulate those meanings.  Just like a set in a play you can share the meaning of a scene, some deeper truth about characters, or simply create an emotional response.  And, it can all be done with shapes and colors.
Architecture, like other art forms, expresses meaning. Do you know why older churches built steeples? Why they had bells? What does it mean that today’s churches tend to use cheap materials? Why are they being made to look “more like a mall”? What does it mean when the sanctuary has a stage with studio lights, big speakers, and a drum set? What do these design features tell us about contemporary Christianity?
Does this tell the same story...
Here's a clip from the parent article that USA Today posted.
Likens says, "everyone in town knows this is the church with the bell tower." 
"But everyone also knows the Episcopal church and congregations as a whole aren't growing," he says. "In fact, they are sliding and they are aging like St. Mark's. That adds to our decision dilemma: Where do you want to put your money as a congregation? Are we better off doing outreach programs? You want to keep your history, but you want to have a future, too."Why are churches being made to look "more like a mall"? Where do you put your money as a congregation?

as this?
Those two questions seem most pertinent. What's the story we're trying to tell with our architecture? But, ultimately, the building doesn't preach the Gospel. While it may help create a sense of awe, respect, or grandeur it's The CHURCH that really matters. So, for some people keeping a crumbling piece of architecture well tells the story when the community is falling apart around it. Read the whole article. Tell me what you think.

I Had A Great Idea:

It was going to be called RandoMazon, and it was going to display at random an item from the online mega-store Amazon.  I googled my new word and it looks like a twitter feed has already been set-up and there is a website that is pretty much doing the exact same thing with the exact same name.  But, before I had the wind taken out of my sails I started to imagine the myriad of strange and wonderful treasures that could pop up.  Things like Uranium and Doe Urine.  I'd link to them, but it feels gross and illegal.

Then for some weird reason I thought, can you buy a coffin on Amazon?  I know they are expensive, maybe you can find them on sale and help yourself out?  Perhaps keep it in the attic till you really need it. (a unique place to hide Christmas presents)

So, I went to Amazon, the hunt was on!  I typed in coffin, the search bar recognized it and finished my word for me. Things were looking up!  The first entries were fake coffins, you know, for kids and stuff.  Then there was a do-it-yourself coffin making book, which people seem to really hate.  Lot's of jewelry boxes.  Some really lame looking sunglasses and a graphic novel (which I might like to read).

But, there it was, nestled between the jewelry boxes and the lame sunglasses, an honest to goodness coffin.  The kind that mom used to make.  Made of the finest 20 gauge steel you can find.  In awe I looked around on the page.  What were people buying that bought this coffin?  What were customers looking for while they tried to find a bargain coffin?

They were buying Mighty Mendit and Windshield Wonder of course.  You shouldn't be shocked to find out that anyone who would take finding their own coffin online seriously would also be kind of a hands-on person.  They also purchased wireless keyboards.  I want to make a joke, but nothing is coming out.  Why keyboards?  Why?  My personal favorite though, Rotating Hot Iron Hair Straighteners, because you're thinking about laying in a coffin and everyone will be judging your hair, right?

By the way, that coffin is $900.  Which is low compared to the other coffins people were looking for. And, that's exactly what people were looking for even if they did end up buying something completely non-sequitir.  The next cheapest coffin they shopped for is $1300....I can't afford to die.

Unless....I decide to go green.  This beauty is only five hundred and eighty-nine American dollars.  But, just like with Ikea, you have to assemble this at home.  Yup, it's a kit.  Why not just buy the book on how to make coffins and skip this middle-man, er, middle-mortician.

All this to say, as I was looking around I saw that people had written reviews and I was not expecting them to be funny.  While they aren't knee-slapping funny, there are some real chuckle worthy moments.  I'll post a couple after the jump, but you have to go read the rest.










Thursday, May 5, 2011

Struggles In Ministry:

These came down my twitter feed today and I can really relate. Maybe you need to see this today. First John Piper sent out this bit of Second Timothy, "So many sorrows in the ministry. 'Demas, in love with this present world, has deserted me and gone to Thessalonica.'" I'm dealing with a real sense of abandonment right now. I'm sure it's not as bad as I make it, but it's something and I'm dealing with it. The reminder that even Paul dealt with abandonment, not to mention that Christ couldn't even get a crowd to hang with him is helpful.

The second thing that I got today was from Doug Fields his list of "10 ideas to help with ministry discouragement."(here) This is how it starts.


• Discouragement is painful.
• Discouragement is untimely.
• Discouragement is lonely.


Yes, yes it is. You really need to read the whole thing whether you are in youth ministry or not. It's applicable to all walks of life with a little tweaking, because we all deal with frustration. Here's a couple points that have really hit me.


2. Seek to spend time with an upbeat friend who is outside of your youth ministry. The benefit of an upbeat friend is that being with a friend who doesn’t really care about your ministry, but cares about you, can be very refreshing.

3. Realize that not everyone will understand you and your ministry. Actually, it’s fairly safe to state that no one will value your ministry as much as you. Perspective can be insightful.


I don't know if I have a local easily accessible friends who isn't in youth ministry. And, I don't mean that as a knock. I love my fellow youth minister friends, but I don't think I have anyone I can just hang out with that I'm not also working with on some level. The other point actually came out of my mouth last night, no one is going to care about my ministry more than me. I need some perspective and I'm not getting that from sitting at home with my dog. I think it's time to go make some friends and get some perspective.

It's pretty cool to me that both of these showed up right next to each other. I bet God new I'd look past one of them so He, in His immaculate timing got both of these guys to tweet around the same time. Thanks, God! I needed this today.

Wednesday, May 4, 2011

One Of The Best Days Of My Life:

Christ plucking me from my depravity is tops. Jennie marrying my slacker butt is still confounding, exciting, and humbling me. But, this day, this day just got inserted into days I will tell my kids about. Today is the day I learned you can watch Austin City Limits episodes online. And, you don't have to steal them either! O frabjous day! Callooh! Callay!

I found this out because I've just purchased the album Backatown by Trombone Shorty and enjoyed it so much I wanted to share it with you. I went looking for a video and ended up finding the website for PBS's Austin City Limits.  If you are like me then you are a huge cynic (shame on you) and his name alone would be enough to send you sneering away. But, if you like horns and rock or just things that are a little funky then you will really enjoy this album. I really recommend it for anyone who likes EarthWind, and Fire (some of the best music and videos ever) especially and even more so if you like that New Orleans stomp in your tunes.

Watch this video of Trombone Shorty throwing down and then join me as I binge on months of succulent live performances. I'm pretty sure I saw Willie Nelson and The Avett Brothers. Also, make sure you check out Gnarls Barkley who I haven't seen in concert, but have watched live performances and that is on my bucket list if they ever tour again. I'll make sure to check out Esperanza Spalding and experience the music of the woman who beat Justin Bieber for Best New Artist.






Watch the full episode. See more Austin City Limits.

Tuesday, May 3, 2011

Tom Ascol On Bin Laden:

My buddy Andrew pointed me towards this article and just like he said, this says what I wanted to say better than I ever could.  Here's a snippet and then you should go read the whole thing.  Here.

Yes, we can celebrate the proper execution of God-ordained justice against evil in the world. But should Christians celebrate the death of the wicked? God doesn't. "As I live, declares the Lord GOD, I have no pleasure in the death of the wicked, but that the wicked turn from his way and live; turn back, turn back from your evil ways" (Ezekiel 33:11). That's why some of the euphoric displays of joy on the part of Christians--even Christian leaders--at the news of Bin Laden's death leave me cold. Their celebrations strike me as more American than Christian--which is precisely the problem with much Christianity in America in our day.

Has your reaction to Bin Laden's death been more about this world than the coming kingdom?

Monday, May 2, 2011

Lefty:

I've been making friends left and right by writing about not wanting America to celebrate Usama Bin Laden's death.  So, I thought I'd shake it up and put something up that is really cool and inspirational.

I am friends with the brother of the guy in this video. He is in our praise band and is a fine musician himself, and I'm pretty sure I've seen his dad wearing that sweater. While I've never met "Lefty" his brother is a real cool guy who fought in Iraq and love's God. So, go check out Lefty.

Click Here!

(Unfortunately, I'm not able to embed this video so you'll have to follow the link away.)

Hell:

It's all the rage right now.  Rob Bell has made it THE topic of debate in circles with nothing better to do.  I haven't read "Love Wins" or any of Bell's other works, and this is not a conversation about Bell or any of his books.  But, he does love asking questions, and has done a good job of getting people to consider their stance on hell.  So, I'm going to question....some....questions....or something.

Alright, here's my thought process.  Hell is either eternal or it is not.  Bell thinks it might not be, I will play the advocate and say it is.  There's no real middle ground here.  Hell happens when you die without a saving relationship with Jesus Christ.  Again, talking about the place after you die, I'm sure someone could wax poetic about the hell around us everyday or something.  I'm talking about classic dead people and demons hell.

Bin Laden went to hell upon his death.  He did not go to heaven at least.  I'm not supremely well versed in the lake of fire/Hades timeline, so to save time and typing I'm just calling it all hell since it's not heaven.  Bin Laden went to hell after he was shot and died.  Now, how long is he staying there?

I'll let those of you with something to do in on a secret.  This isn't really about Bin Laden, it's about our deficient view of hell and sin.  So, now that you know, you're free to go or read on.

Usama masterminded the murder of 3000 people on 9/11.  He's been involved with the deaths of countless other people.  He was a bad guy.  And, he'll either spend eternity without God's goodness tormented continuously or at some point he'll be freed and allowed into heaven.

Did you get a weird feeling at the thought of him being in heaven?  I did, and I am the guy that just wrote that he wished Bin Laden had turned his life around and gotten saved.  It's an unattractive prospect to imagine him being freed from hell to stand by the saints in heaven but, here's the alternative.

The late Usama will spend all of eternity being punished for the deaths of thousands.  Here's where I think most people are.  Most aren't imagining an end to his punishment.  They are picturing him paying for what he did forever.  But, does he deserve to be punished forever?  Shouldn't at some point he pay his penance for his evils?  Does he really deserve an ETERNITY of horror and torture?

Yes, it was horrible and he was a devilish individual, but eternity without end?   I mean, what if he did 1000 years for every life he took?  Wouldn't that seem fair?  That's a really long time and hell wouldn't get any easier the longer he was there.

Wait, that means he'd get out.  If he had a hand in the death of 10,000 people he'd do 10, 000, 000 years of unrelenting torment and anguish for his crimes.  But, he'd still get out.  He'd still get to come to heaven.  


I'm not arguing for Bin Laden's eventual release from heaven, I'm arguing that Hell is an unfair punishment for people's actions against other people here on earth.  It is, no one deserves an eternal hell for even Bin Laden level crimes.  If you disagree then you don't have a real grasp on how awful hell really is. There isn't a crime worthy of that type of punishment. 


Eternity never ends.  And, only a crime against an eternal God is worthy of an eternal punishment.  Bin Laden doesn't deserve hell because of his terror-mongering ways.  He deserves it because He had a heart turned against God the Father.  His sin nature, not his sins are deserving of an eternal hell.  We're getting it all twisted up and placing the weight on his actions, which were devastating, and ultimately it was his heart that spurred that devastation.  


Hell never ends, and is worse than you can imagine.  You shouldn't want anyone to go there.  Let's not short change the horror of hell or the eternal consequences of our sin nature.  Bin Laden will be in a real hell for a real eternity and you could sadly as well if you don't have a relationship with Jesus Christ.

Osama deserves Hell...Me...notsomuch:

Without a doubt, the Internet is certain that President Obama will be announcing the death of Osama Bin Laden in just a few minutes.  How can I tell?  Because, "God Bless America!", "Osama Bin Laden is dead. and i'm not feeling that good myself.", "OSAMA DEAD?!?!?!?! HELL YES!!!!", and "Osama bin laden has finally received what he deserved!" just filled up my news feed.  That's one heck of a coincidence.




As of writing that sentence I just heard our President confirm the fact that Bin Laden is in fact dead.  So, they were right, and what a stunning proof of the speed and power of the Internet.  But, all that aside, I was a little weird about the idea of people being so excited about his death.  While I have to admit, hearing that he had died did give my patriotism a little rise, I couldn't sustain it, it was death and death has a permanent consequence.  So, I put this out on facebook, "Can a christian really celebrate someone going to hell?" and here are the responses I got.


in this case, I would have to say yes
Nope.
We can celebrate justice.
good point...
are we talkin bout bin laden here? cause if we are, i dont know where he went, im just glad hes gone!
agreed...I celebrate justice but I still have a hard time celebrating death.
Agreed. Not to mention that there are reactions for every action. I'm scared of the consequences this might bring. To me death is never happy.
It's not an overwhelming dissent or approval, but the one thing that jumped out at me through all of this is the idea that his death is justice being doled out for the atrocious things that he did.

I get it.  I really do.  He was a bad guy.  But, I wasn't asking about if we should feel a little bit better about getting a bad man off the streets.  I asked if we should celebrate when a man goes to hell for eternity.  That, personally, makes me sad.

I'm no apologist for terrorists.  But, I don't want anyone to go to hell.  I wanted the story to end with Bin Laden giving himself up and turning over a new leaf.  I want to believe that dyed in the wool terrorists can change.  I can't celebrate his death.  I can't celebrate what might feel like justice.

Isn't our faith about justice denied?

Isn't grace about never feeling the punishment we deserve.  Jesus died for us while we were still planning terrorist attacks against his kingdom.  I don't hear anyone crying out for justice if you're on the right side of grace.  But, Osama, he deserved to die.

Sure he did.  And, so do you and I.  Maybe not according to earthly standards.  But, we're playing the game of relativism, "At least I'm not as bad as Hitler!" can so easily be replaced with, "At least I'm not as bad as Bin Laden!".  But, we are, we are a people turned completely towards the destruction of God's kingdom until he reaches down and replaces our heart.  And, now that he's shredded up the ledgers we're shouting for the death of someone who was just like us before grace (not to mention the common grace of being born in America to be awash in the Gospel).

Let's not kid ourselves, we didn't want justice.  We wanted revenge.  We can't even comprehend justice. We got our revenge and now he's got his eternity.  But, revenge isn't ours to take.

God, thank you for being completely unjust in relation to my punishment.  I'm so sorry Christ had to suffer for me.  I know that there was no other way though.  Thank you for being patient and not vengeful with me.  Expedite your gospel to the furthest reaches of the world.  Penetrate the hearts of the most venomous before they meet their end.  Save the terrorists.